Day 475 & 476 (16 & 17/04/2011)

Well that was a long long day yesterday but quite interesting and it might lead to a few more things.

Yes thats a reflection of me, looking like a tramp in a suit.

I didn't really get to see a lot of London, France of Brussels but I was impressed by the metal ramps on all the stairs on the Brussels underground to help you take your bike on the underground.

Very clever and useful.

Now time to catch up with the stuff that came in yesterday but I must cut the grass this weekend.

Update - Sat 20:15 - Well I've cut the grass but it looks like its been hacked by a nutter, as it was.

I have somebody coming round in a couple of weeks to get the garden done properly as we don't use it but it would be nice to sit out there sometimes with a glass of wine and a wifi signal.

Hopefully I will fix the toilet tomorrow.

Day 474 (15/04/2011)

Spent a few hours late last night trying to get my laptop working properly and failed. I might just take a hammer to it and start again.

After about 4 hours in bed I got up at stupid o'clock to catch my train to London only to find all services in the South West either delayed or cancelled. I eventually got on my train over 45 minutes late and don't know yet if I will make my connection on the EuroStar.

I treated myself to first class and its very nice. the staff are really friendly and they keep coming round with free drinks and snacks. So far I have had a Danish pastry and a nice banana.

As I'm wearing a suit no-one has asked to look at my ticket. I may just sit here next time anyway.

Update - 09:00 - Second drink and now having a slice of fruit cake.

If it carry's on like this I may have made money by going first class.

Still no-one has asked for my ticket.

Day 473 (14/04/2011)

Booked hotels for the Isle of Mann and Glasgow.

Decided to go by myself to the Isle of Mann as it seems to be during a motorcycle event and the hotels were fairly full. Boring time for me.

Went for a nice hotel in Glasgow but still can't decide whether or not to fly or drive, hate driving but hate sitting at airports even more. It's going to work out about the same price when you add in taxis etc.

The talk went well yesterday, everyone enjoyed my easy going style and were amazed at the things you could do but not many approached me for courses so might have been a bit of waste.

Going to a thing at Kelly's old college, so have to get all of my work done during the day.

Day 472 (13/04/2011)

Had too much pizza last night, now stuffed (not crust), might not need to eat again for a while.

Giving a presentation later but luckily its only about 2 miles away. Not getting paid unfortunately but it might generate a course or two.

Update - 09:00 - I think my body thought the pizza last night was a transplant as it is rejecting it this morning, not good.

Day 471 (12/04/2011)

It seems like its going to be a fairly nice week weather wise, I had hoped to get out into the garden & cut the grass and maybe even get my bike out but guess what, yeah, I know boring ain't it.

Day 470 (11/04/2011)

So my bets on the Masters came to nothing, even if I had got McIlroy's name right.

Dad's still in hospital, it's a long story, and I am giving 2 presentations this week which I haven't done yet. At least I had a lie-in as My Pix is off from college for a very long easter break.

I didn't get to cut the grass or get my bike out but did have a very nice Sunday with the family.

Day 468 & 469 (09 & 10/04/2011)

The sun is out it's a lovely day & my wife is home today. Bugger I'm in the office.

Hopefully it will still be nice tomorrow so I can cut the grass, which is getting a bit long.

Update - Sat 13:00 - Yesterday I placed a bet for my Dad for Graeme McDowell to win the US Masters. I thought that the young curly haired Irish was a good bet so put a few quid on it.

Unfortunately it was only later did I find out the the young curly haired Irishman is in fact Rory McIlroy.

Usually this wouldn't be a problem but McDowell didn't make the cut and McIlroy is leading by a couple of strokes, so no point putting any money on him now :-(

Between us I think we have back about half the horses in the National.

Update - Sat 17:15 - Well we had a 2nd & 3rd, won about £35 so not quite ahead for the day.

Come on Westwood or Poulter for the Masters, a nice meal out is resting on one of them winning.

Day 467 (08/04/2011)

With my Dad still in hospital I offered to put a few bets on for him, for the National & the Masters, so put some money from my credit card onto an online betting site. No problem.

Golly well I can now see how online betting can be addictive, in addition to Dad's bets I put on about 4 or 5 of my own.

I then did a bit of work, making a few of my regular online purchases from secure sites, then bought a few t-shirts from my usual supplier of t-shirts that could easily double as quilt covers.

Then my credit card got stopped for possibly fraudulent action. So they let the online gaming go thru but stopped me t-shirts from who I have made numerous purchases from before.

Can't these credit company get it right, the gambling is the dodgy thing not buying clothes from a local retailer.

Oh well, nearly up to date with all of my work but must do the two presentations I am due to give this week. Hoping to cut the grass at the weekend.

Day 466 (07/04/2011)

Honestly it's not an obsession.

Just seen that he is previewing his new show in Bristol in July, so just got a couple of tickets.

I know that means I am seeing him 5 times in 3 shows in 4 months but I am not a stalker, juat an average geeky fan.

Update - 14:15 - Going to Brussels next Friday. Having to catch an early train to London and a late one back, so thought I would treat myself to first class. Now to tell the client that they are paying for it.

Can't believe I have been working since before 9.00am but still not actually done any paid work yet, could be a late night.

Day 465 (06/04/2011)

Well my dads operation didn't quite go as planned but he is nearly up on his feet now.

Slowly going thru all of my work and have now added a trip to Brussels next week to give a talk. Not been there before and it was a nice offer, thought it will be a bit exhausting as its there and back in the day.

Seeing Richard Herring again tonight, so will try and get another photo, I know I am sad.

Strangely after I posted the last picture a friend asked me about him as his wife had gone to school with the Herring kids and knew Richard, small world........but I wouldn't like to paint it.

Day 464 (05/04/2011)

Its wet & grey out, more like autumn than spring.

Dad has gone in to hospital this morning for a hip replacement, so it will be a busy couple of days visiting and keeping his spirits up as he is not the most patient patient.

I know, then my mum will have him under her feet for the next few months whilst he gets back to full mobility.

Day 463 (04/04/2011)

So it was Mothers Day on Sunday. I had gone to the card shop last week and bought cards for my wife and my mum.

I had found a nice card for my mum,which said from Son & Daughter-in-Law which I thought was very nice. I had also found a lovely card for my wife but it had no envelope so whilst I was waiting for the shop assistance to find a replacement envelope I deiced to make sure my mums card was OK and decided to change my mums card, to a less creased one from the shelf.

It was only after I had given the card to my mum that she pointed out that the one I had given her said Daughter & Son-in-Law. O000ps.

She accepted it in good faith.

It was as bad as a few years ago when I came home with a couple of bouquets of flowers for my wife and put them in the sink until she got home. Later she asked me why I had bought one bouquet of real flowers and one of artificial flowers, and why had I put the artificial flowers in water.

OK, I admit it I thought they were both real. I'm not a gardener, I just thought they looked nice.

A TV programme I helped out on was on BBC 4 last night. I wasn't on the screen, as always I just did some stuff behind the scenes but they nicely thanked me in the credits (possibly due to the fact that I didn't charge them).

It is on the iPlayer Here for a week and was a documentary about the BBC's Rough Justice series, which began investigating miscarriages of justice in the early 1980s.

Day 461 & 462 (02 & 03/04/2011)

I have spent all day doing reports, working my way thru the backlog. Next week should be a bit easier and next month even better as one of my main clients should be able to do most of their own work.

Been listening to Adele & Elbow, what fantastic music. It has made the last few days of none stop reports nearly bearable.

I have completed the census to the best of my ability, though it is true to say I have no ability when it comes to using a pen. I failed totally to get my writing in the little boxes or to make it readable. Oh well, I'm sure that won't be a problem.

Day 460 (01/04/2011)

Golly the year is flying by. April already, un-bloody-believable.

Day 459 (31/03/2011)

Out all day training a replacement for me for a client of mine. It went OK and hope this will mean I have more of a life but still earn a living.

When I have more time not only will I be able to write more in my blog I will be able to write my book.

It would be so much easier if I could just drag and drop a file from my brain onto my computer as in my head my book is half done and is a masterpiece.

Day 458 (30/03/2011)

Can't believe that I have been working hard all day and nearly achieved nothing.

I can't until this back log has gone away.

Day 457 (29/03/2011)

Good times :-)

Day 456 (28/03/2011)

Loads to do before I drive up north this afternoon. I have then evening off as Seeing Richard Herring in Preston tonight which should be good.

Update - 12:30 - F**KING C**TS B***ARD W**KERS, just heard the company I bought my Take That tickets through has gone bust. I should get my money back as I paid by credit card but I had bought them as a present for my wife.

Update - 17:45 - On the drive up North I set my iphone to play my music in shuffle mode. It was clearly taking the piss as it kept playing Take That & Robbie Williams tracks.

Anyway my mood was improved by meeting Richard Herring at the hotel. I shook his hand and pointed out I am not a stalker, but I think he probably thinks I am.

Day 454 & 455 (26 & 27/03/2011)

The party was fun last night, although it made me feel quite old.

Saw a few bits of the news today from the demo in London. I amazed that protesters attack the police when most MP's addresses can easily be located, surely they are a much better target.

I know you shouldn't and I never would but if I was a desperate anarchist why bother with Top Shop when you can get the Top Man.

An surely these protesters are forced to take to the streets to challenge a government that many feel has no legitimacy. Come on Libya, send a few planes over to help them out. (I know flippant comment but lets not mention Bahrain or Saudi)

Update - Sun 21:50 - Still sat here doing some work.

Lost two hours today, one when the clocks went forward then the second spent putting all the clocks right.

Day 453 (25/03/2011)

Went to the cinema last night with my wife and daughter to see the theatre production of Frankenstein from the National Theatre starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller.

All I can say is WOW, utter brilliant, go and see it if you have a chance.

Work to do then an 18th Birthday Party tonight in Bristol, where I will be seen as one of the oldies.

Day 452 (24/03/2011)

Long day, done loads of work, going to the cinema tonight.

Day 451 (23/03/2011)

I have finally finished the last of three courses in three weeks. Whilst the money was nice (when I eventually get paid) it was very tiring and meant that my other work is very overdue, so long days and late nights getting up to date.

Hope to be back to normal next week.

Day 450 (22/03/2011)

The course is going well but again the computers are slow and no very up to date.

I met someone else today I had not seen for a while, which was nice.

Had a curry for lunch, better than a salad but perhaps I should of not had quite so much.

Looking forward to a day off soon.

Day 449 (21/03/2011)

Back in Bristol doing a course this week. Slightly strange that today I have seen three people that I used to work with, who I have probably not seen for at least 15 years. We have all aged, though I have all of my hair but I am now twice the size.

Looking forward to next weekend or the easter break as I have so much work to clear and clients crying out for their reports.

Day 447 & 448 (19 & 20/03/2011)

It's nice to be back home with my wifi and my family.

Thought I would include a few photos from the week, obviously they are of the meals we had.

There were other great meals and I think I might have to be on salad for a few years now.

It was great to have time with Gary & Elaine, who saved me being bored and staying at the hotel by myself.

We spent a few hours at Reg's Garden. Reg seems to have had a very interesting life.

I'm not complaining but I have to prepare for next weeks course, the last for a while, but three in three weeks is a bit knackering. I also have about a months worth of reports that need doing this week.

Update - Sun 19:30 - Just about got next weeks course sorted, now to send off a few emails. Tea & cake later then bed early (ish). Not looking forward to a few early mornings, role on next weekend.

Day 446 (18/03/2011)

Back home, feeling knackered, with loads to do.

Going thru my emails.

Day 445 (17/03/2011)

Spent the day exploring Jersey with Gary & Elaine. Had a great time but looking forward to a new Chinese later.

Will be home tomorrow with my family and my internet connection, looking forward to both.

Will include some photos at the weekend of this weeks meals.

Day 444 (16/03/2011)

The course has now finished, it went well, though the computers were appallingly slow and software years out of date.

Looking forward to relaxing in the hotel for a few hours then having a nice meal.

It will be nice to have a day off tomorrow enjoying Jersey with Gary & Elaine.

Day 443 (15/03/2011)

Day 2 of the course, went well but the computers are so old and slow.

Had a great meal tonight with Gary & Elaine.

Still no wifi in my room so it 10:30pm and I am sat at reception writing this :-(

Really missing constant twitter updates, and my family.

Day 442 (14/03/2011)

Went out for a curry last night with Gary, which was very nice but a bit of a chilly walk. As we had a late lunch Elaine wasn't hungry.

This morning was nice and warm and the course went well but the computer systems are so old and slow, which has caused a few problems.

It was funny when I started using the flip chart and saw that it was the same one I used last year, clearly they don't use the training room very often.

Missing my family but it will be nice to go out for a meal tonight with Gary & Elaine.

I still can't get the wifi working in my room but if I go out to reception it is OK.

Day 440 & 441 (12 & 13/03/2011)

Loads to do before flying over to the channel islands tomorrow. Firstly I must book the car park at the airport and dig out my passport.

Saw Alan Carr last night on a practice night for his up coming tour. He was brilliant, very funny and great stage presence and interaction with the audience.

Seeing Miles Jupp tonight, so don't have much time today to get everything ready.

Really saddened at the disasters in the world. I suppose living in a grey drizzle place the UK seems a good bet at times like these.

Update - Sun 19:30 - Flew out from Bristol this morning, it went OK even allowing for me missing the junction on the motorway and then having to take a cross country route I wasn't sure of, then Gary & Elaine got caught in traffic.

The journey was OK and we got to the hotel, which seems OK but really I only booked it as they advertised free wifi throughout the whole hotel but I can't seem to get my laptop to sign IMO the hotels system, so not best pleased. Will have to update my blog from the raining venue tomorrow.

Hopefully have something nice to eat then a goodnights sleep.

Day 439 (11/03/2011)

Must book my car parking at the airport, everything else just about arranged.

Day 438 (10/03/2011)

In the office early doing a report, not looking forward to going to the dentist later.

Update - 21:30 - Managed to get through the dental visit without having any work done.

So much to do before flying out on Sunday. Looking forward to seeing Alan Carr tomorrow night.

Day 437 (09/03/2011)

That's the first course finished and two more to do. It went OK but was a bit strange as there was someone on the course as stressed out as I used to be. At one stage I worried about him putting the computer out the window but he only attacked it with his newspaper. Clearly someone in need of a hug and some drugs but other than advice I couldn't really do more.

Looking forward to a lie-in in the morning but I have loads of work to do before flying out to Jersey on Sunday.

Day 436 (08/03/2011)

Second day of the course, went OK although the computers were playing up a bit so not everything ran smoothly.

Loads to do and tired from early mornings. Looking forward to having a lie-in on Thursday.

Update - 20:30 - Pancake Day, now stuffed and unable to work.

Day 435 (07/03/2011)

Up early and out with Mr Pix first thing. Dropped him at the train station and then drove up to Bristol to do a course.

Driving up daily rather than staying as its less than an hour away, but it means early morning, which I hate.

I have done a few courses for my old employer, who I left about 15yrs ago but its always strange going back, not always comfortable but I have to do it to earn a living.

Now home to catch up with the other work that I have to do. No rest for the wicked but looking forward to Jersey next week as I going with my brother & his wife / partner, who I enjoy spending time with. I will not be doing any work in the evening whilst I am there (if I can help it) so it should be a relaxed course.

Day 433 & 434 (05 & 06/03/2011)

What to do first, the work that has to be done and sent in or the preparation for the course that I am giving on Monday.

I had to cancel the restaurant for tonight as my wife had tickets to see 4 Poofs & a Piano tonight, so we will probably see that instead.

Update - Sun 14:15 - We had a quick meal at the Worlds End last night, very nice.

Then off to see Four Poofs & A Piano.

Fair enough it wasn't my choice but the wife wanted to see them so I went along. It was a fun show full of rude songs & jokes.


Taunton does amaze me, as once again, just like for Julian Clarey, the audience was mostly made of people in their 70's, laughing along to comments about anal sex.

Still doing preparation for the courses coming up.

Day 432 (04/03/2011)

The sun is out, the sky is blue, if I had the time I would go out for a walk or on my bike. It doesn't rhyme but you get the idea.

Hopefully training someone for a client next month so they can do their own inquiries. It will be a shame to say goodbye to a client of over 5years and to at least £1k a month in work but it will be nice to have more time. I am sure they will come back every so often on the difficult jobs.

I am also trying to arrange something to do with the training, which if it comes off will mean lots more courses around the UK and I have already spoken to someone about helping me out on those.

So hopefully in a few months time I will have a nice regular income and more time off. Then I can spend more time getting fit, more time with my family and more time to write my books but not in that order.

Also after a gap of a few months off from going to comedy gigs I have loads coming up, although to be fair four of them are to see Richard Herring. Honestly I am not obsessed with this guy but have just take to his comedy.

I have found a new restaurant in Taunton and hopefully will book a table for tomorrow for me and my wife, to make up for the fact that I am doing so much work that we can't have our Orange Wednesday for more than a month.

Day 431 (03/03/2011)

Up at a reasonable hour and spent all day working but not actually sent any reports off yet. It's going to be a busy month but I'm not complaining.

Mr Pix has gone for a haircut and said about having it all cut off, which will be a change over the last few years.

Update - 20:20 _ Mr Pix has a nice short haircut, very straight after the hair cuts of the last few years.

Day 430 (02/03/2011)

Home, Home At Last.

In the last few days I have driven hundreds of miles but after giving talks on the South Coast then way up North I am now back home.

Too knacked to do an Orange Wednesday and loads of things to catch up on but its nice to be home again.

Update - 20:45 - Interestingly (or not) just putting my end of year accounts together for the accountant and I did 14,548 miles for work in the car last year. This is depressing on so many levels. I hate driving and technically work from home so how the hell did I do so many miles.

Day 429 (01/03/2011)

In my hotel room in Portsmouth, watching the telly and preparing for the talk in about 9 hours time. Must go to sleep soon but first to catch up on twitter.

Update - 20:35 - Well the talk at the University went OK and we had a good meeting afterwards, the only thing appears to be my lack of a degree, which they mentioned again. I suggested they just give me an Honorary Degree but they thought I was joking and suggested a particular degree that would suit me, so I might have to give in and study a bit.

Then I had an incredibly long drive up to Preston. I arrived and had some fish & chips.

Now time to do a quick report before I collapse into my bed.

Day 428 (28/02/2011)

I forgot to take a picture of yesterdays curry but is was very nice, will be finishing it of later.

I can't believe that it's the last day of February already, the year is flying by.

Update - 16:55 - Damn, I have to leave in 2 hrs and haven't even done the presentations yet. Mad rush.

Day 426 & 427 (26 & 27/02/2011)

Heard Get Better by Scroobius Pip this on the radio this morning. You must check it out on YouTube.

Why don't they play thing like this instead of Party Political Broadcasts. He speaks more sense in his lyrics than any politician I have heard for the last 20yrs.

Nearly up to date with my work, then I can start preparing for my presentations & courses.

Update - Sun 15:00 - Still not booked a room for tomorrow night or done the presentations for Tuesday & Wednesday. I have done a lot of preparations for he courses coming up and printed off most of the materials and put it in the poly-pockets and zippy packets.

We are having curry later, can't wait for Mr Pix girlfriend to arrive, then we can have dinner. I bought the sauces but have added a few things and it tastes great. Having a Chicken Korma and a Lamb Rogan-Josh, with all the other bits & pieces. Will add a photo later.

Day 425 (25/02/2011)

The other month I did two training courses in two weeks and felt knacked. I said to me wife, "well I won't do that again".

Today I got a call from an old friend who I did some courses for last year, who works for a government agency and has been loosing staff all year due to the cut backs. They have money left in the external training budget which must be used by April, so he has arranged two courses with me next month.

So in March I am doing three courses in three weeks, plus giving three other presentations.

So it will be my most profitable month ever but I think I might have to lock myself away in a darkened room for a few days afterwards.

I am not complaining, I know I am lucky to have a job but just need to alter my work life balance.

Day 424 (24/02/2011)

Paul was very good last night but I think I will have to get the DVD and watch the commentary to understand all the "in jokes", though I got a few.

Had my hair cut today as I am busy over the next few weeks.

I am already getting bored and pissed off with the news coverage of William and Kate. I may go away for the wedding or just join a protest. It's about time the world grew up and individuals weren't given titles and roles just through an accident of birth. We should follow the example of the middle rest and get rid of these royal families and dictatorships.

And whilst I am on that, why are the Banks now seizing Gaddafi's assets. He has been a murdering dictator for the last 30+ years. What's Changed. They shouldn't have been doing business with him.

I blame Blair, OK its not all his own fault but lets blame him anyway.

Day 423 (23/02/2011)

Golly, I happen to mention on Facebook yesterday that I had paid my VAT and felt like crying. Yes I am very grateful that I have a job in the current climate & I know you only pay lots of tax if you earn lots.

I'm still glad I made the point, even though it got a few more responses than I had intended. There was, as always, a reason why I made the comment on Facebook. I wanted someone in particular to read it as it might gee them up on paying me for some work I did for them. I m a cunning devil, or something close.

However it is annoying that small business have to pay all their bills on time.

If I was an international telecoms company I would just have lunch with my mate who runs the revenue and he would then see my side as to why I shouldn't pay a shed load of tax.

If I was a football club I would not pay my tax for a year or two, them come to an arrangement with the tax man so I only paid a smaller percentage of it.

But I'm neither, so I wave good-bye to large chunks of cash, to a government that wastes billions.

Still on the bright side its Orange Wednesday and we are hoping to see Paul tonight.

Day 422 (22/02/2011)

Had a lovely time last night at Sands Restaurant.

Enjoyed ourselves so much only remembered to take 2 photos.

It is always nice meeting up with my brother and his wife / partner, I enjoy the time spent just chatting more than the food (and I really enjoy the food part).

Saw some of his recent art pieces, hopefully he can get another show together soon.

Hoping to stay on top of my work, so have to go.

Day 421 (21/02/2011)

The poet from the other nights Exhibition Of The Teenager was Clive Birnie and you can see videos of his performance at his channel on YouTube.

Going to the Sands Restaurant tonight with my brother & his wife / partner, looking forward to it.

Now to get a head start on todays work.

Day 419 & 420 (19 & 20/02/2011)

If I wasn't working all weekend I would definitely go and see Paul, hopeful it will still be at the cinema on Orange Wednesday.

Update - Sat 21:00 - Finished the reports, now for a shower then I can relax.

Update - Sun 20:15 - Lovely dinner today.

Starters - rocket salad, with figs, halloumi cheese, parma ham, with balsamic dressing.

Main - roast pork & crackling, roast potatoes, carrots & curly kale.

Afters - eton mess.

Very nice but not quite up to the standard of our meal away this week. Now to send a few emails before sitting down for the night.

Day 418 (18/02/2011)

Last night we went to the opening of The Exhibition Of The Teenager.


There were some great poems and bands. More photos curtesy of Mr Pix are here.

Got about half of my work done today, so will be busy over the weekend as well.

Day 417 (17/02/2011)

OMFG what a lovely place The ABode Hotel in Exeter is, and the food, wow wow F**KING wow.

An old style hotel with a nice view of the Cathedral from our rooom.

With lovely modern comfortable rooms.

We went for the Taster Menu, which was fantastic, we also shared the wine, so had a different glass of wine with each of the seven courses, plus the Champagne "Sloe Potion" Cocktail which came with an Appetiser of an Smoked Salmon Mousse and Garlic Amuse-Bouche.


Then it was the Tartar Of Marinated Tuna.

I wont bother describing the food or the wine it was all just to die for apart from the red wine, which was OK and went well with the food but we are just not big red wine fans.

Then the Comffe Of Duck Liver.

Then the Slow Poached Brill and the Local Loin Of Venison.


Then the Selection Of Local Chesses and the Carpaccio Of Pineapple with Mango & Lime Sorbet.


Then to finish off with a Dark Chocolate Petit Pot, with Orange Foam & Orange Madelene and Coffee & Petit Fours.


And believe it or not the breakfast was great as well.

Then home to our normal lives.

OK diet and exercise will resume soon.

Day 416 (16/02/2011)

Up early to try and do a report or two before going away for 24hrs this afternoon. I am looking forward to relaxing in a nice hotel with my wife and having a fantastic meal.

Enjoyed Jeremy Hardy last night but why do audiences think that a comedy show is a two way conversation. We paid to listen to him not people trying to be funny. So I was a bit glad that within 2 minutes he had shouted at a woman to "Shut the F**K Up, It's Not About You" or similar.

A bit of his material was the same as last time but he is clearly worried about getting old as he kept saying how old he is and that his body is stopping working at his age and that his friends are dieing off blah blah blah, then he said he was 49. Well 49 isn't that old and only slightly old than me.

I think he must be worried about being 50 but why, when you are in your 40's you know that you are going to be 50 soon or dead. So surely being 50 is the better of the two, unless you are actually very ill and in a lot of pain.

It would be different if he was about to become a pensioner, which nowadays isn't actually that old anyway.

I still think of myself as being a fit 18year old with his life in front of him who can achieve anything. It is only when I look in a mirror, think about it or go to get up or reach for something that I am brought back into reality.

Actually the reality is I am now middle aged, with half my life in front of me but I can still achieve anything albeit at a slower pace and in larger clothes.

Day 415 (15/02/2011)

Up early but Mr Pix wasn't well so he went back to bed.

As usual I have loads of work to do but I have a very full diary this week, so has less time to do the work.

Valentines day yesterday, so spent the evening with my wife. Tonight it's Jeremy Hardy at the local thearter. Wednesday me and the wife are having a night away and a nice meal. Thursday is the opening of Kelly's show. I have to see Paul at the cinema and arrange to go out for a Moroccan meal with my brother and his wife.

Oh were does the time go and BTW I still don't seem to have a degree.

Day 414 (14/02/2011)

Early start, taking Mr Pix to the train station then off to Portsmouth University for a meeting.

The meeting went well but there was a point when one of the men I was speaking to said "You have got a first haven't you" so I said "A first what" and he said "Your degree, it is a first class degree isn't it" I don't really have to carry on with the story but I laughed and said "No".

We worked something out, which was fine by me but you could tell he was upset not to speaking to an academic equal but why when talking to me would anyone think that I have a degree, I barely have any CSE's and don't hide the fact. I did feel like saying give me an honorary degree then I will be qualified but it seemed that wrong time.

Anyway hopefully that meeting will pay off this year and give me a bit of stability.

Home now and time to do some work before a relaxing evening with my wife.

Day 412 & 413 (12 & 13/02/2011)

Its 10:30am and I can't believe that I have been sat at my computer for over an hour and not actually done any paid work yet.

I have done my emails and accounts and also applied to be on an internet advisory board (I know, I have so much free time I thought might as well take up a non-paid position).

Now to get some of these reports done as I am off to a University on Monday to discuss doing some work for them and then I am going away for a day with my wife on Wednesday.

Update - Sunday 19:45 - I've not done as much work today as I wanted but it is compulsory to have wine on a Sunday with dinner, which was a bit like an anti-pasta picnic.

Time for a quick shower then the BAFTA's.

Off to Uni tomorrow to discuss courses.

Day 411 (11/02/2011)

I was just close to nearly catching up with my work and had more sent in but can't complain as will be spending money enjoying myself over the next few weeks.

Time for lunch (3pm) as I'm starving.

Day 410 (10/02/2011)

Back in the office and no headache today but loads of work.

Forgot to add on the way back yesterday I felt unwell so stopped off to sleep at a service station and someone reversed into me, which woke me up but thankfully there was no damage to my car.

Update - 16:00 - Not actually done any paid work yet but sorted out my office a bit.

Just booked a room and a table for me and my wife at Michael Caines in Exeter for next week, so no Orange Wednesday but a night of food and relaxing. I can't wait, it will be nice to have a day off and relax with my wife.

Must get all of my work done now.

Day 409 (09/02/2011)

Home at least, its been a long and tiring day.

I had a headache all afternoon and I could have done without working or driving but the money comes in useful and its so nice to be home and to know that I will be back in my own bed in a couple of hours.

The course was OK but rushed and there were a few people there that were more suited to pen & paper rather than computers but there was a couple that got it.

Day 408 (08/02/2011)

The course was OK today but it seems very rushed doing it in 2days after doing it over 3days last week.

I got back to the hotel and thought I would just lie on the bed for 5 minutes before getting on with some reports and then woke up a few hours later. I did intend to have a quick meal then get on with my reports but I ended up speaking to some of the guys on the course and only left after 10:30pm so think I will be even further behind in my work.

Oh well.

Looking forward to getting back home tomorrow.

Day 407 (07/02/2011)

OMFG how early was I up this morning, to get ready and pack the car so I was ready to go straight after I took Mr Pix to the train station.

Then just a short 240 mile drive up north and I was giving a presentation. Then The Legacy Hotel in Preston for this weeks course. I booked in under a meal deal, so got a bottle of wine and a three course meal included in my daily rate.

The wine went down well.

as did the Pate starters.

And the Pork & Crackling.

and the Apple Pie & Cream for afters.

now to do an evenings work in 30minutes with a fuzzy head :-)

Day 405 & 406 (05 & 06/02/2011)

Hardly a weekend off, I haven't even bothered unpacking my bag. Got next weeks stuff to prepare and was supposed to be seeing John Shuttleworth tonight but am to busy.

After next week life will be a bit easier for a few weeks and we can have another Orange Wednesday and go out for a few meals.

Update - Sun 18:00 - Just got a few more things to print off and do for tomorrow so decided against finishing the wine with my dinner, slow cooked lamb, very nice.

Staying in a nice hotel this week and have paid for meals in the restaurant in advanced, so hoping they will be nice.

Day 404 (04/02/2011)

I can't believe I am only home for 3 days and then back up north. I have so much to do :-(

It's going to be a busy weekend, with loads to do and a course and a presentation to prepare for.

Update - 20:00 - Feeling stuffed after a lovely big Chinese, belatedly seeing in the new Chinese new year.

Day 403 (03/02/2011)

Last day of the course about to start then a long drive home. Then back up here on Monday. BTW did I mention I hate driving.

Day 402 (02/02/2011)

Second day of the course and the machines aren't playing up so much.

Can't quite decide about dinner yet, might have the same as last night.

Update - 22:00 - OK it was predictable, I went for the curry.

Missing my Orange Wednesday for the next couple of weeks. Looking forward to getting back home for a couple of days.

Day 401 (01/02/2011)

Doing my usual course up north. I was speaking to one of the students, who I thought was a few years younger than me but not that much younger, than I realized I worked with his father about 18years ago. How old do I feel now. I think I might have a drink and cry into it later.

The course went better this time as it is now three days and not two but the machines have been playing up. Why can't things just work the way they are supposed to.

Looking forward to my dinner, can't decide between the fish & chips or steak & chips.

Update - 20:00 - OK went for the steak & chips, very nice.

Day 400 (31/01/2011)

Well we had a lovely time with the family yesterday for my mums birthday. Always nice to all get together.

Finished with the traditional game of cards, which I lost.


The camera with the other photo's are in my wife's handbag, which she has taken to work, so I only got these on my phone.

My wife's car seems a bit ill this morning and only lets you select 5th gear. So I might of burnt the clutch out getting it back on the drive. Unfortunately I am going up north tonight so might have to leave them with just Kelly's car.

Having a Malcolm McLaren and Bow Wow Wow musical morning this morning. Classic 80's.

Day 398 & 399 (29 & 30/01/2011)

Gota get myself sorted for next weeks course. I suppose it shows how many courses I am doing nowadays that I have to go out a buy yet another box of paper from Staples. As well as printing out for the laminates and a few other odd things, I give three handouts, each 9 pages long, so that's 27 pages for 13 delegates on the course, which is a lot of paper.

Hopefully I am doing another course in Jersey this year but I don't think it will match up with any time off my wife has taken, so I will be there by myself, which will be much much cheaper but not as nice.

I was hoping to go to Norway as well but the Norwegians are coming over here, which is a shame as I fancied as few days in Norway at someones else's expense.

I will probably also be doing some stuff in Glasgow and Dublin later in the year, which may sound nice but when I am away working I never really have chance to see anything other than the hotel and the training venue.

It is a bit like the Tony Hancock comedy, The Radio Ham where he has friends all over the world but none in this country. I go all over the place giving presentations and courses but rarely doing anything locally, so there is always lots of driving and staying away from home. Oh well it's work.

Day 397 (28/01/2011)

Just about keeping on top of my work before I go away on a course next week.

Looking forward to getting together with the family at the weekend for my mum's birthday.

Having a curry tonight :-)

Update - 22:00 - Stuffed after a lovely curry. Spent the last 2hrs doing laminates. Now time for tea.

Day 396 (27/01/2011)

Well we made it to The kings Speech last night, strangely to the same screening as my parents had chosen. Now I hate the royals and think that the world be a better place without them but what a good film. There were loads of good people in it and despite the film being nearly 2hrs long it was worth watching, though I find it uncomfortable in those seats for anything longer than 90minutes.

It was nice to have a lie-in this morning and not to have to take Mr Pix to college.

It's gone very cold again and keeps threatening to snow :-(

Day 395 (26/01/2011)

Well me and the wife went out last night for a quick bite to eat at The Worlds End


Very nice it was too.

Then we went to The Brewhouse where we saw an evening with Gyles Brandreth.

He was very funny and it was a great show, certainly worth seeing him if he is at a theatre near you.

Below is a poor picture of him signing books afterwards.


So today I dropped Mr Pix at the train station to go to college. Came home and did some work, then dropped the daughter off at the train station as she is going to London to see a play with a friend. Then I had a hair cut then I picked Mr Pix up from the train station. What a busy day so far.

Aiming to see The Kings Speech tonight, as long as the wife can get ready on time, unlike last week.

Day 394 (25/01/2011)

Well inspired by my aunties comments about tidying up I started on my office this morning. I now have two large bags of shredded paper and and 500 sheets of paper I can print on the other side of. I have also put some papers away so my desk is a bit clearer.

I will aim to carry on and have the office clear by the weekend but I think I may have some stuff for eBay as I have loads of books and computer things sat here untouched for a few years.

Day 393 (24/01/2011)

I love my kids loads and miss them when we are away but oh how much easier it will be to arrange a holiday when its just be and my wife. It will be nice to just book a week away whenever. I am looking forward to that and will send the kids a postcard.

Day 391 & 392 (22 & 23/01/2011)

Why in your middle age and older does the hair in your nose and ears grow so quickly. This is a question I often ask myself.

We had snow this morning, only for a few minutes but just enough to remind us that winter is far from over.

Update - Sun 18:00 - I currently look like & feel like I have been shot under the chin. This is the mother of all spots.

Day 390 (21/01/2011)

I have had no enthusiasm for work over the last few days. I have sent out emails to arrange things but just haven't done any reports, so not earnt any money. Now I have loads of work and a back log.

If I could just loose one of my big clients my time would just be right. I keep telling them that I am having to cut down but they just can't take the hint.

Plus I have lots of training coming up. I was hoping to go to Norway for a few days to train some people but they obviously fancied a few days in London, so instead of me going over there they are coming over here. Oh well a few days in London at someone else's expense. If it goes well then it should be a bit of an earner but this ones for free.

I know it's wrong to be complaining whilst other people are losing their jobs which is why I can't tell the clients to just go away, just in case things start turning the other way.

Also, Blair, the murdering war criminal scum is back at the Chilcot cover up / enquiry today. I hate listening to Blair speak / lie and normally just turn the radio or telly off if he or his bitch of a wife come on but I will have it on the radio live today, just in case there is a Columbo or Miss Marple moment, where someone actually points out all of his lies.

Of course it would also be a historic moment if someone actually kills and whilst wrong it would be a shame to miss a historic moment.

Day 389 (20/01/2011)

We got to the cinema slightly later than anticipated (I was ready my wife was running late, again) last night and The Kings Speech was sold out, so we went to see 127 Hours instead.

We are both usually quite squeamish with things on the telly, even looking away if people are having injections, so I was not completely looking forward to watching this film but we had gone to the trouble of going out and my wife likes films based on true stories, so we saw it.

It is a really well made film with about a five minute section in which I couldn't really watch the screen but I would recommend it.

Day 388 (19/01/2011)

I didn't want to get up this morning but I managed to get Mr Pix to the train station in time, even allowing for having to scrape the ice off the windscreen.

Might go and see The Kings Speech on a Orange Wednesday today. Not me sort of thing but the wife likes anything based on a true story.

Day 387 (18/01/2011)

Have just put the ever growing boxes of Christmas stuff away.

I have told my wife that if she buys any more decorations, cards or paper I will divorce her but I think it is more likely that I will just kill her and wrap her body in the stuff.

If my house wasn't so full of crap we would actually be able to find and use the stuff we already have instead of having to buy more stuff to replace we stuff we can't find.

Hopefully the credit card people won't phone again today as I'm not in a mood to be messed about with.

Day 386 (17/01/2011)

Must put the Christmas stuff up in the loft as our bedroom is full of boxes of stuff.

I wonder which company I can be rude to on the phone today. I do try to be nice but it is only fair as if I didn't ask these companies to phone or if they annoy me then I am allowed to be as rude as I like to them and I often am.

I remember years ago we were sat in an office in the middle of the night doing some paperwork and decided to have a swearing competition. After a few minutes a man came in to use the photocopier but he couldn't get it to copy properly and without stopping he let out a stream of sweary abuse at the machine, which was much worse than anything we had come up with in the previous 5 minutes.

Having written the above, I have just remembered having a law lesson in the mid 1980's when we were being taught about the offence of swearing n a public place. We each had to come out with the two most offensive swear words we could think of. A sensitive lady called Carol said something like Bloody Hell and then Johny B came out with a two word phrase that was truly offensive but very very funny. We all laughed for ages and he got a £1 fine by the trainer, it was well worth it.

I can't really put the phrase down here but when we meet, ask and I might tell you what it is.

Day 384 & 385 (15 & 16/01/2011)

I am doing some work before breakfast but the smell of crumpets toasting is quite a distraction.

Update - Sun 09:00 - Early start still trying to catch up on my work.

Golly it rained lots over night. I want a summer holiday but no doubt when I'm away I will be missing my computer. Might go away for a few days over half term, just to relax.

Update - Sun 14:15 - Santander Credit Card Security you are all a bunch of utter W***KERS, you phoned us. If your rules don't make sense then use common sense you T**SERS.

Day 383 (14/01/2011)

I love twitter, I think it's great. As well as work things I follow lots of people that I like, who I want to know what they are up to. There are lots of comedians, so lot's of their tweets are funny. If I didn't like someone I would just un-follow them and then ignore them.

I only say all of this as recently I have worked (as a favour and not actually earned any money) on a couple of jobs for a few celebs who have been having really horrible stuff sent to them on twitter.

Life as a celebrity can't always be great. I would like the money that success would bring but really don't want the fame bit, which is just as well as I am likely to have neither.

It is somewhat strange to know that celebrities have been discussing you and that I have had a few tweets and emails from them, though if I told most people they would probably say "Who?"

Day 382 (13/01/2011)

I'm at home.

The course was OK but I must say some people are F**KING frustrating.

Anyway home with loads of urgent work to do.

Slowly getting thru all the left over Christmas goodies.

Day 381 (12/01/2011)

I couldn't get up this morning, I hate early morning but if I was at home I would of been up to take Mr Pix to college. Oh for lie-in. I think I am just nocturnal.

Looks like the journey home will be full of rain, again, roll on the summer.

Day 380 (11/01/2011)

Did the first day of the course today and it went quite well, but it is quite rushed doing it all in 2 days. I might see if the budget can be stretched to three days next time.

Went for the lamb & blackpudding pie for lunch, that was possibly a mistake, as was my choice for dinner, sausage & mash. It was like a microwave special.

Looking forward to getting home but know I will be so busy with all the reports that need doing.

Day 379 (10/01/2011)

Nearly got all of my course stuff done, still loads of work to do and I must sort my laptop out.

The year is only 10days old and I am looking forward to going on holiday all ready.

Not looking forward to the 200mile journey tonight but I am looking forward to ham eggs & chips for dinner before I go.

Update - 13:45 - Getting my laptop ready but the new 3g dongle is not working either, argh!!!!!!!!!!! what a pain in the arse.

Also I started up a Facebook group ages ago slagging off my local Renault garage after receiving poor service from them and today I am having quite a few applications to join it, from people who I have worked out are actually employed there.

What idiots they are thinking I would just let them join.

If only they realized the size of the group, this could be fun to take to the press, how they are trying to infiltrate the worlds smallest group on Facebook.

Update - 22:00 - In Preston after 200miles of rain soaked motorway. Hopefully my laptop is now working properly.

Day 377 & 378 (08 & 09/01/2011)

So much to do & so little time to do it in.

Plus seeing Punt & Denis tonight, which should be good.

Update - Sun 16:30 - Have to do update and print all my course material in the next 4hours. Perhaps it was a mistake to have more than half a bottle of champagne with my dinner, feel like sleeping really :-)

Day 376 (07/01/2011)

How did I get so much work in and have not updated my course and printed off all the material. Could be a busy couple of days.

It's that horrible misty rain outside and I have to out to buy things for the course next week :-(

Day 375 (06/01/2011)

Cold and very wet.

Thankfully my printer is working again now thanks to a very early delivery of the new drum thing.

Day 374 (05/01/2011)

Well now Mr Pix has joined me with a bad cold and wasn't well enough to go to college. I won't use the term man flu but we are both soldiering on, where as my wife had to be off work and was ill in bed for a few days. The lightweight.

My printer has stopped working as I need a new imaging drum, which costs about £100. When I bought it no-one said anything about all the other bits other than just the toners you need. I do like my printer but I could do without the extra expense and hassle.

Day 373 (04/01/2011)

Back to work - AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got up early to take Mr Pix to the train station. It was so early my eyes hurt and I felt sick, thats just too early I'm much more of an evening person. It was so dark it was like the middle of the night. Roll on the summer.

Meant to say that Mr Pix's girlfriend made us a lovely Tiramisu for afters on Sunday.


Watched a Rolf Harris program on sky+ the other day. Possibly one of the most weird & uncomfortable things I have seen for ages.

Was it just me or did it make Rolf look like a bit of a perv, not his usual art.

Day 372 (03/01/2011)

My wife has to work today and everything is back to normal tomorrow. I may take the Christmas decorations down and make the world dull and normal :-(

Although I hate Christmas, the place looks dull after you take all the decorations and lights down, so I hate after Christmas nearly as much as I hate Christmas.

Day 371 (02/01/2011)

I am all over the place with my days of the week, apparently it's a Sunday today. It is always confusing over Christmas and New Year but this year it seems to have all been Bank Holidays.

My wife has gone off to work, although she is not completely better. I have a cold and cough but luckily I like Beechems Lemon anyway.

Might do a Sunday dinner today and open a bottle of wine for myself, as I have not had a drink all year.

Day 370 (01/01/2011)

It was a quiet New Year, with my wife still full of flu and Kelly at work until 11.

Mr Pix and his girlfriend were here and had a drink but as I was picking Kelly up I couldn't drink and then it seemed a waste to open a bottle of Champagne for midnight and then leave most of it, so I had a Beechems Lemon instead (I have a slight cold but not yet full man flu).

This year I must get more done. Thats more exercise, more tidying up, more career stuff rather than just work, more writing (that's if 3 pages count as a start). I must stop wasting time, money, my life, blah blah blah.

I may go out for short walk later, building up to a longer walk then get back on the bike. Or then again I may not.

Anyway Happy New Year to everyone, I hope your year is good and brings you things you want.

Update - 17:00 - Went for a half hour walk to the local shops to buy some bread. That was todays exercise as I could have taken the car and only taken about 5 minutes.