Day 211 (26/07/2010)

My last day for a while of being younger than my old wife.

Busy week as I am way all the following week. Things to do and plans to make.

BTW saw Sherlock Holmes last night, very good.

Update - 09:30 - Two things really pissing me off this morning.

Firstly a farmer must be spreading something awful on nearby land as it smells awful with the window open and it's too stuffy to keep it closed.

Secondly genetics and parents. I love my parents but the pain in the joints of my hand today is so bad I couldn't even butter my toast or write the time of my Dr's appointment down.

Why has my Mum given me this. Why couldn't she pass on Ginger hair or the Eden ability to drink like a fish.

Really luckily it's my left hand so it's not as if I use it for everything I do, Oh I do, you utter bastard joint pain. Lickoly I con stil tipe :-().

Update - 17:15 - Two sickly people off to the Doctors.


Thomas wasn't well so we both got appointments at the Doctors.

I explained about the unbearable pain in the joints of two of my fingers and that whilst I occasionally have numb stiff joints this was the first time that the pain had been intense and had left me unable to use my hand.

The Doctor said (no word of a lie) "yeah I have got a numb joint on this finger, god knows what it is"

I would hope that in the many years of training to become a Doctor that they might cover joints and the human body but apparently not.

I have to take ibuprofen and see if it helps.

I'm guess it will be more useful than the Doctor.

Day 209 & 210 (24 & 25/07/2010)

Simon Callow was very good.


It was a one man show all about Shakespeare, his life and his work. It was very interesting and entertaining but the theater could do with air conditioning as it gets very stuff in there, so I always feel sleepy. Luckily I was sat next to Kelly who nudged me awake when resting my eyes became snoring.

I don't know if I have ever mentioned it but I hate driving. So today I have to drop Kelly in Yeovil, then this afternoon pick my parents up drive them to the airport then go and pick Kelly up. I reckon I will be driving for nearly 4 hours today. What utter joy.

Update - Sat 12:15 - Decided all drivers in Yeovil except me are utter ****s. We were in a 60 zone stuck behind some tosser in a red Renault doing 42mph. Then two vehicles pulled out in front of me at roundabouts.

At times like these I wish I had a shut-gun and a get out of jail free card.

Update - Sun 17:45 - Went to the Brewhouse with Kelly to see Tapes and Ashes. They are an improvised electronic music band. Imagine Jean Michel Jarre but without a tune. Check it out and think about me sitting thru 50 minutes of it.

Thanks Kelly really appreciated it but please don't get me any of their cd's for my birthday, it's not really my cup of tea.

Day 208 (23/07/2010)

The Chinese was nice and as usual we have enough left over for the next few days.

I must get some work done today and this weekend as I have done anything but do paid work all week (well I have only done a few jobs).

Off to the theater to see Simon Callow tonight.

Update - 15:00 - Sat having a cup of tea and a raspberry yogurt. Thomas had a bag of crisps and my wife had a large bit of cake :-(

Still avoiding crisps, biscuits and cakes. Only had the one slice of birthday cake. Can't wait for Tuesday and will have more.

Day 207 (22/07/2010)

Got things being delivered today but have to pop out about 4 times to take people to work etc. What are the chances of me being here when they knock at the door. I may cry if I don't get my software and monitor :-(

Update - 17:30 - Well my office looks like a chavs front room, the monitor is a bit too large for the room.


I think if I went for the next size up I would have done away for the need for curtains. It's a good job I don't like looking out of the window as now I can't.

I have chosen my glasses, I picked the ones that my wife laughed least at.

Just viewed Kelly's college film on youtube. I can appreciate the technical skill but think if that's what she was thinking about she needs treatment and I might take away all the sharpe knives. No wonder it took them so long to clean our bathroom up afterwards. Good work by the actress and all involved but you are all clearly in need of care.

Might have a Chinese takeaway tonight.

Day 206 (21/07/2010)

Feeling like an alcoholic who fell of the wagon and had a can of shandy, I must remember that I don't eat crisps.

Obviously my new regime is working so well I must have thought, diet what diet.

Having real problems with Microsoft Office, should I waste money and buy the latest edition or download the free and very good www.openoffice.org but then appear to not know what I am doing at work when asked to work with Microsoft Office.

Update - 11:30 - Well two things, firstly the garage phoned to do a follow up call on how we rated their service. Needless to say they didn't want to talk to me only my wife. This is despite the fact that she has never booked the car in to the garage, she had never taken the car to the garage, she has never collected the car from the garage and she has never paid for any work to be carried out by the garage.

You would have thought if they wanted feedback on their crap service it would be best to speak to someone who dealt with the garage rather than just the person who owned the car.

Secondly I have downloaded the free open office but also ordered a new Microsoft Office. It would not of been so bad if I stopped there but yesterday they all had lovely really large monitors and my wide screen 22" monitor seemed a bit small. So I thought I would go for a 26" wide screen monitor. It will be like sitting in the front row of the cinema.

Update - 21:00 - Orange Wednesday. I can full recommend Toy Story 3 in 3D it was great and all the adults were laughing.

You might have heard it was sad, well it was but I didn't cry. You just don't expect that sort of ending from Pixar and in 3D the machine gun attack on Andy's family was even more horrific, clearly a comment about gun control and illegal wars, well done Pixar.

Had to change my facebook photo, as I had to send a link to it to a lady for work. She is German and my current photo is me and Richard Herring, with him in a Hitler Mustache.

Day 205 (20/07/2010)

Early morning and a few hours drive to Farnborough for a bit of a corporate day and a few hours watching the plans go by at the air show.


Honestly it was hard work, well avoiding the free booze and cakes was hard work. I forgot I was not eating crisps so I had a few with my buffet which was gorgeous.

The planes were really loud but I only had my phone with me and it was so sunny I couldn't see the screen, so my pictures are crap.



More importantly I picked up a few good freebies.


I missed out on the cowboy hat but quite happy with what I got.

Did a bit of business and will probably do some training for a company I met there.

Just realised that technically I might have agreed to work for a US military contractor. My hypocrisy knows no bounds. I may have to make a donation to Liberty & Greenpeace to cleanse my sole.

Day 204 (19/07/2010)

I remembered to get my suit from the cleaners.


Now I can go to the corporate thing tomorrow looking like a tramp in a suit rather than just like a tramp.

Other stuff done and to do - posted acceptance card about 4 weeks late but must do some sort off urgent reports and fill out the insurance forms for the camera.

Still no biscuits, cake (other than Fridays Birthday Cake) or crisps (and there is an open pack of Pringles calling my name). Looking forward to next Tuesday as we will be going out with my brother and his lovely partner to a nice restaurant as it will be Happy Birthday Cake Day again.

Just think if I was the Queen then I could have two Birthday Cake days a year, lucky cow.

Update - 20:45 - Have completed one very long report and a few other bits.

Came across this today,


sort of funny and hopefully not rascist.

Day 202 & 203 (17 & 18/07/2010)

Had a good time at the Indian last night.

Thomas concentrating on poring his lager (I think it's in his DNA)


The food was very nice but the table could have been bigger or we might have ordered less, I cant decide.


Kelly and Aunty Kim went for the kids ice-cream in the penguin toy


Done a couple of short reports already, hope to get another three done today then will have a day off tomorrow and tidy the garden.

I must get my suit out of the cleaners as I need it for Tuesday when I am attending a corporate event (free lunch!).

Update - Sun 09:00 - I did another two reports yesterday and must send a few emails out today.

Apart from the one slice of Birthday Cake I have still managed to avoid all other cakes, biscuits and crisps. If I can only keep this up for another 5 or 6 years I should then be in a better shape to start doing some exercise (or not).

Must tidy the garden. The wind over he last few days have taken all the leaves from the trees in the park and dumped then in our garden. It's like Autumn already.

Must get my suit from the cleaners tomorrow, should set a reminder on my phone.

Update - Sun 19:00 - Being teased by my brother and his lovely partner who are having the perfect in every way Elise Rayner over for Dinner.


It's annoying when people ask me what I want for my birthday as I don't really need or want anything; however dinner with Elise would have been great.

Day 201 (16/07/2010)

Its Birthday Cake Day.

Thank god (who doesn't exist) its been a hell of a week but the day has finally arrived, it's Happy Birthday Cake Day.

BTW Happy Birthday Thomas. He's taller than me and now getting to be nearly as old as me. Looking forward to the Indian Restaurant later and the Birthday Cake.

Update - 18:30 - The big even that we have all been waiting for.


And very nice chocolate cake it was.

Oh yeah and here's Thomas wining a tenner on one of the many scratch cards he had for his birthday.



Off to the Raj Poot later.

Day 200 (15/07/2010)

I can hear the cake calling out to me, eat me eat me. Damn you cake, my will is holding strong, for now.

Update - 18:45 - My staff making the most of the ipad.


Still resisting the cake but I can't hold out forever.

Day 199 (14/07/2010)

Well its Orange Wednesday and we plan to see Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand. The kids both said it was great so hopefully us oldies will enjoy it.

Have to take the wife's car to the garage today. I hope they fix it all properly and don't tel me something else is broken. I might have to be a bit strict with them.

Still no biscuits, crisps or cake yet, though only a few days and I will have to eat cake, just to be polite.

Update - 13:15 - Heard from the garage, they clearly think I have mug written on my head. They are saying that the filter is blocked on the fan that's why it is not blowing out much air.

I pointed out that it was working when I dropped it off and it was not working when I picked up so it seems unlikely that the filter clogged up whilst the car was parked up and being worked on by their mechanics.

Think I might have to take it elsewhere and pass on the bill to Renault who I will then take pleasure in annoying. I wonder if the domain wellingtonrenaultrshit.com is still available.

Update - 13:45 - I have decided its a conspiracy against me. A friend has just popped round with a sponge cake she has just made.


The house is now more full of cake than ever. My will power is holding but only just.

Update - 14:05 - Garage are convinced the filter is blocked and offered to do it all for free if I paid £15 for the part. I refused and said I would have the car examined and then advertise the faults that were found with their workmanship.

I know I should have just paid but I am convinced they have done something to the car. Now I must find a mechanic who I can trust to find out what they have missed.

Its just petty but that's me. It could be the withdrawl symptoms from the lack of biscuits.

Update - 14:20 - Started a Facebook Group called Wellington Motors Renault are CRAP now I just need thousands of supports and a press campaign and I wont have to pay that £15.

Update - 21:00 - Well Get Him To The Greek was funny but very rude, I am shocked that someone let my kids see it.

I have to finish a report about a lady who started her own cake making business. Its like Cake pornography.

Its a conspiracy to test my will power.

Day 198 (13/07/2010)

Its has been raining for about 12 hours and is just lovely. I hope the sun comes back, I was getting use to it, like being on holiday but with better toilets.

I did lots of things yesterday but not much work and have loads to do. I am going to have to explain to a few clients that they are now at the back of the queue as the training and main client must now take priority, as they provide the most money. I wish I could do it all, not just for the cash but I do enjoy the work (mostly) and don't want them to lose out but I do need to have some time off and to be able to finish at a decent hour.

Still no biscuits, crisps or cakes despite my wife's best efforts. Getting over the shakes but still have an emptiness in my tummy. I think if I can only last a year or two I might have cracked it.

Update - 21:30 - Had a long chat with another client today about the fact that I would have to stop doing their work as there are not enough hours in the day.

I just hope that now that I have jettisoned two large clients that everything that I think is going to happen is going to happen or I will cry.

I could not carry on doing everything I was doing and had to give up something but as always you just hope you have gone with the right ones.

If it all falls thru I will have to collect trolleys at Tesco's.

Still no biscuits, crisps or cakes. I am having more fruit but its just not the same as a bar of chocolate or a few hob nobs.

Day 197 (12/07/2010)

Busy week, apart from shed load of work that needs doing.

Take my suit to the cleaners for its annual clean, sort out my wife's car (again), visit to the dentist, Orange Wednesday, fill out the insurance form for the camera, start tidying garage so we can have the electricity meter changed, pay in some cheques, book some hotel rooms for work, avoid all biscuits, crisps and cakes.

I think there are some other things but can't remember them yet.

Update - 12:00 - Car booked in.

Sent an email to Bristol Airport;

-----------

Your rude unhelpful security staff.

I appreciate the world we live in and the threat that the government say that terrorists are but if you insist that I have to take my shoes off and walk along your floor then have it cleaned. Some passengers were in bare feet walking along a floor that was filthy and covered in a sticky brown substance resembling s**t which the rude security girl (I know its a patronising term but she deserves it) said was just kids sweet.

I stand more chance of dieing after catching an infection from your filthy floor than I do from a terrorist attack.

Also when putting my possessions thru the x-ray machines it would help if your staff stopped chatting to each other long enough to clear the empty baskets, so that things can move along the conveyor and not get held up until members of the public clear the empty boxes, so that your rude useless staf can carrying on chatting to each other.

If there is a terrorist attack at the airport I hope someone will tell your staff as they seem too busy talking to each other to pay attention to anything else.

I have flown from many airports and your staff are amongst the rudest and your floor is the dirtiest.

------------------

It does make me think that if there was a terrorist attack at an airport and they decided to machine gun just the security staff, how many people would complain.

Certainly if it happened in Bristol Airport they probably wouldn't even bother cleaning the floor afterwards.

Update - 15:00 - Booked the car in, booked a haircut, dropped my suit of for cleaning, paid the cheques in still not had any biscuits, crisps or cakes.

Can you get patches to help with the symptoms of missing biscuits and cakes.

Day 195 & 196 (10 & 11/07/2010)

It would have been nice to of had a lie-in but I had to get up early to give back the courtesy car and pick up my wife's car, which was finally repaired on Thursday afternoon.

When I got to the garage I could see that they had not cleaned it and also tried to charge me for the examination to find the fault.

I pointed out that they must have a blind garage man, who must have cleaned someone elses car twice as mine was still dirty and that I wasn't paying for the examination to find the fault this time as I had already paid last month for a deaf mechanic who to failed to hear the fault, despite the car sounding like an old London Cab.

Thank god (who doesn't exist) that I got a few quid off as the total bil awas around £1,000. Words fail me.

Then had to drive Thomas for about an hour to a festival where he is spending the weekend.

Loads to catch up with now I'm back.

Update - Sat - 21:00 - So my wife is in Bristol seeing her mum, Kelly is working all day at an outside performance of some Shakespeare and Thomas is at a festival for the weekend.

I have spent to day going thru a few hundred emails, arranging my work, loads of which came in whilst we were away and updating my blog, twitter and websites (all work).

Have been good and not had any crisps, biscuits, chocolate or cakes, so far.

Update - Sun - 10:00 - Apparently Thomas is having a good time at the festival, hopefully he can get a lift back, otherwise it will be a pain picking him up when a few thousand people are all leaving at the same time.

Update - Sun - 18:00 - Picked up Thomas who had a good time. The air-conditioning in the wife's car is like a sickly asthmatic child chewing an ice-cube, so the car is gong to go back to the garage.

Still not had any crisps, biscuits, chocolate or cakes but did finish off a lovely bottle of champagne stuff, which was a present from my brother and his lovely partner. Thinking I should not do anything for the rest of the night apart from watch the world spin around.

Day 192 - 194 (07 - 09/07/2010)

Dublin trip.

We flew from Bristol, with the usual humourless gits at the security gate. We went with Ryan Air, obviously people only fly with them for the reason of price not customer service.


It was all work, honestly;


Dublin was great. We did a few touristy things, including a guided tour on the top of an open double decker bus;


and saw lots of great things, including;





Disappointingly I later went to the shop but they don't, neither of them.

We stayed at a nice hotel but the advertised WiFi was not good enough for me to log on and do my blog.

The food and the drink, I can't recommend Dublin enough.

Time for a diet and to detox.

Day 191 (06/07/2010)

Hopefully should get the ipad and the car today.

Looking forward to Dublin tomorrow.

Always fancied going to Holland but what reason can I have to go there on a business trip? Any ideas grateful received.

Update - 12:30 - Well we had a nice arrival today.


Senior (oldest) member of staff opened our new ipad.


I tried my best to set it up but gave in and gave it to the newest (youngest) member of staff to set up.

It seems really good if only I knew how to use it.

Update - 13:00 - My happiness at the arrival of the ipad was short lived, not that I have actual played sorry worked on it yet but the garage just phoned to say the alternator has gone on the car. At this rate we could have kept the tyres and bought a new ****** ******* ******* car.

Update - 16:30 - It would have been F**KING cheaper to buy a new car. They have now phoned as when they were replacing the alternator something else was broken which now needs replacing. They apologised and said they would stay with the 2 hour quote for labour and try to come to an arrangement on parts.

As the car is now un-drivable they are give me a courtesy car, which I park at the airport for a few days.

Update - 17:00 - We now have a new car for a few days;


I think its a Renault, can you tell.

Day 190 (05/07/2010)

Desk looking clearer, feeling good.

Got to take my wife's car to the garage later, if its less than £600 will feel even better but poorer.

Update - 16:00 - Well I have not had to pick up the car as the garage phoned to say that when they had taken the power steering motor off they realised that another part was broken and they now have to order that. Great even more expense.

Update - 17:30 - Happy, just heard my company ipad will be here within the next 2 days, just in time for me to be way in Dublin. Must tell the kids not to play with it until I get back.

Day 188 & 189 (03 & 04/07/2010)

We went out for a meal last night to congratulate the kids finishing their exams etc.


Just for a change we went out for a curry.

Early start on Saturday. I took my car to the garage for two new tyres and to get the tracking done. A great way to spend money, own a car. Still it was a lot cheaper than my wife's car is going to be on Monday.

Hoping to get all the really old reports done today then spend time with the family tomorrow.

Update - Sat 18:45 - Well I have done one of the old reports and was just starting the second one but now having a well deserved break;



Update - Sun 21:15 - I have finally finished the 3 really old reports that had been hanging round, one since May. That's 16 reports in the last 4 days. Now up to date but I have about 7 new ones waiting to be done before I can go away with a clear desk.

Still time for a cup of Tea and some Sticky Toffee Pudding & Custard.

Day 187 (02/07/2010)

Getting thru my work. It will be so nice to have it all finished so I can catch up on a few other things.

Day 186 (01/07/2010)

OMG July is here already, the year is flying by.

Its been a very busy and very interesting year so far. More changes happening with work soon. Must get back out on my bike and join a gym soon.

So Thomas had his school prom last night. He didn't want to go "Black Tie and DJ" like everyone else so picked out a nice little number in grey. He looked really smart.


He always looks good, unlike me, as I just looks like a tramp in a bad fitting suit when I attempt to dress smartly.

Him and his mates were let down last week by a chap with a Hummvee but thankfully our friend Simon stepped in at the last minute with his Jaguar.


The car dates from 1967 and if you know about cars there are lots of interesting facts about it but I have now forgotten them all.

I will stick some more pictures on facebook later.

Rather embarrassingly I have 12 jobs waiting to be done, some of them were sent to me in May. Oh well I don't think I could have done any more.

Day 185 (30/06/2010)

Well the film awards last night were really good.


Kelly and her friends made an effort and all looked great.

Yes that's the famous Oscar of Phill Jupitus / Cornish Pasty fame with a Fez and Fishnet's combinations.

Kelly won an Award for Technical Achievement and her actress got Best Actor.


She gave a great speech and was the true star of the whole glittering event.

We are all very proud of her.

So today Kelly has her last exam and Thomas has his prom.

Update - 14:30 - Just got back from the garage in my wifes car. Luckily it only needs a new power steering unit, new belt unit, service and an air-conditioning re-gas and clean.

Well that should only be around £650 and no way I can link it to my work, damn.

You should never have a car more than 3yrs old, they are worse than kids for costing you money.

Update - 15:15 - Just booked for a couple of days (working) in Dublin next week. I shall be taking a member of staff but not the kids. Hope the weather stays nice. Looking forward to a cool pint of Guinness and a nice big breakfast.

Day 184 (29/06/2010)

I meant to say on yesterdays blog that I had to attend a meeting in London all to do with work. Whilst there just to kill a bit of time I popped in to see a show at the Bloomsbury Theater.



Really like Richard Herring, Emma Kennedy and the rest of the cast of AIOTM.

It was a nice way to finish off a works meeting.

Anyway back to work today.

Have Kelly's film tonight.

Day 183 (28/06/2010)

Busy day with 8 long reports to do but going to London with a friend to see a comedy show instead.

Day 181 & 182 (26 & 27/06/2010)

So after yesterdays shattering disappointment at not being able to get an iphone unless I end up paying hundreds of pounds I have had another big shopping disappointment this morning.

I have never seen the point of the ipad but I have a member of staff who complains that when they are in the lower offices relaxing that there are times they would like access to the internet.

I did buy a laptop for her 2 years ago which she never uses. So when she does need it, it always needs the anti virus and windows updating, so she doesn't bother.

I thought the ipad would be ideal so visited all the places in Taunton but no-one has them, they only order them for customers as there is no demand. Of course there is a demand, I want one you bastards and I want it now.

So now I have to either drive for an hour to visit an apple store or just go on-line and order it. Think I will order one and bid for an old iphone on ebay, which should see me thru until my contract runs out.

Update - Sat 11:15 - Ordered my ipad but received an email saying it wont be here until around the 12th of July. AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH.

Update - Sat 20:30 - Its hot, work to do, Glastonbury on the telly and football on as well. Too many things to do, thank god Dominoes deliver. I had a great pizza, now back to work with Shakira on the iplayer.

Shakira's OK (well the hips don't lie) but I prefer Lauren Laverne, she's just about perfect.


I am gutted that this is as close as I will ever get to her.

Update - Sun 09:00 - At least there will always be me and Kylie.


It was so hot yesterday that I decided on a simple t-shirt and shorts combination. I'm so glad as when I was watching the Scissor Sisters on the telly at Glastonbury I would nearly have been wearing the same as Jake Shears,


that would have been just so embarrassing.

Anyway the Scissors Sisters were good and so were the Pet Shop Boys. I love the coverage on BBC and 6 Music but time for some work, might play some Rufus Wainwright.

I'm beginning to wonder if my wife has been putting anything in my tea lately.

Update - Sun 10:00 - Just had a chat with my young aunty C. Discussed the Ground Hog Day that is England at football.

I am predicting that we will be out of the World Cup by this evening. We will be out played, then Rooney will get upset and slide tackle someone and get sent off in disgrace. England the plucky loosers, again and again and again.

We invented the game so lets tell everyone else they can't play our game.

To enter the World Cup, instead of having qualifying games the criteria could be, "Did you invent the game?"

"Yes" "Well come on in then"
or
"No" "Well go away"

We could then do the same with Cricket.

Have the Americans or Australians ever invented a sport that we are interested in, well no, so it won't matter if they adopt the new rules.

The Greek economy is bankrupt so they could do the same for the Olympics but could then sell places to other countries. This would help their economy and mean that our over paid and over pampered stars could win a medal, rather than trailing behind an African who has only relied on his talent and love of running.

Now, back to Rufus.

Day 180 (25/06/2010)

Well I had intended to start work early but had some stuff to do so put some youtube stuff on. Nearly 2 hours later I have watched loads of Lee & Herring stuff. So funny I wish I had appreciated it more when it was first out.

I must do some work.

Might go into town later and ask about an iphone.

Update - 13:45 - Spoke with Orange on the phone and worked out a deal for a new iphone but it would have to be posted to me and I wouldn't get it until Monday, so like a spoilt impatient child I thought I wanted it now so would go into town and get one at the Orange shop instead.

Went to town and found that the Orange shop had only been sent 6 iphones which were all sold yesterday. I tried the two other phone shops in town only to be told the same. Bugger Bugger Bugger.

Now back home waiting on hold for Orange to see if I can order one instead.

Not actually done any paid work so far and do not have an iphone. Sometimes life is shit.

Decided to get another camera (for the company) after the other smashed when we landed in Jersey as it will still take a few weeks to get it repaired and my staff are unable to take any pictures in the mean time. I managed to get a good deal but still spent a fortune; however I now have very happy staff.

Update - 14:15 - Finally got thru to Orange who said I could get a new phone and transfer the numbers round. I would have to buy out my contract for £300 and then start a new contract with an iphone or to buy an iphone.

Life is just so unfair.

I was so happy earlier at the thought of getting an iphone now to say I am upset is an understatement. I probably wont drive today as road rage is a possibility.

Bugger Bugger Bugger.

Day 179 (24/06/2010)

After going out last night I must catch up on work. I still got jobs left from before I went to Jersey. Some clients obviously wanting their work done but trying to keep most people happy.

Update - 13:00 - Two interesting events. Firstly I used the boiled egg device that Kelly got me for Fathers Day. It worked brilliantly and my eggs were just right.

Second incident hopefully does not involve my parents. I was in town having dropped Kelly off at college and doing the re-cycling. I was driving back, wearing my sunglasses as it is very sunny, and noticed there was a silver car basically taking up the whole road and driving towards me. I pulled towards it a bit to get it to pull over to its own side, which it did. As we passed I pointed out what I thought of the other driver in my own verbal shorthand.

It was only after we passed did I noticed that it was the same car as my parents and as I had been wearing my sunglasses I had not seen the occupants of the car.

So hopefully it was not my Mum & Dad or anyone else I know.

Day 178 (23/06/2010)

Its 06:30 and the sun is beating down into the office already. Its going to be hot today.

England playing this afternoon so hopefully I will clear up a few old jobs in time to watch.

We are not doing an Orange Wednesday today, although there are one or two films on I would like to see as its the Anniversary of me and my wife first meeting in 1984.

Yes 1984, a time when we looked in horror and disbelief at a totalitarian regime, an oligarchical collectivist society where life is a world of perpetual war, pervasive government surveillance, public mind control, and the voiding of citizens' rights.

If only it had been called 2004 then Orwell would have been spot on.

Anyway looking at happier times, then I have booked a meal at a Mediterranean Restaurant, so it will be like being away on holiday but only having to pop out for an hour or two.

Will try and include a photo of Kelly in her glasses. She always looks good in hats and glasses, lucky girl.

Update - 9:50 - 1 report done already loads to go. Decided to down load a few more podcasts and felt like I needed some more Eminem so my computer is running really slowly and should have everything downloaded in about 8 hours. This might slow up my work but never mind.

Update - 22:00 - I have decided that getting Kelly insured to drive my car was money well spent. This is because me and the wife have drunk far too much as Kelly took us out and picked us up from the restaurant tonight.

We went to Tournedos a Mediterranean restaurant and it was great although I think half the bill ended up as drinks.

Had tapas for starters.


Follower by a Lamb Kebab for me,


it looked a bit strange but was really tasty.

My wife had the stuffed chicken breast, which was lovely.


I then went for the Melon Ice-Cream with Chili,


it was interesting. You ended up with a cold mouth and burning throat.

I always wondered what chili ice-cream was like and now I know I shan't have to order it again.

Day 177 (22/06/2010)

Gave a day long presentation to a large group in a warm and stuff lecture theater. It went down well but is was nice to finish so I could get in my can and put the air conditioning on.

Drove home in the heat of the evening, listening to the cricket.

Day 176 (21/06/2010)

Its baking hot and its only 9am. The sort of baking hot where the thought of a near 4hour drive up north is not good.

Thankfully I am not staying in my normal dive but somewhere just a little bit better.

I have been filling out an application for a grant for Thomas going to Collegein September.

Locally we can get £135 p/year to help with transport costs, as the course is not available within the county. Its a shame the actual cost of getting to Bristol everyday will be nearer £1,000 a year.

We are above the threshold for most of the other grants but by the time we have paid for the transport and all the equipment we will be well below but that doesn't count. Typical that Thomas choose photography, a course where you need a lot of expensive equipment.

I have just filled out an online application that checked over 1200 organisations that hand out grants to students. Most of the questions were only applicable to the sort of people that Daily Mail readers hate. If Thomas was a gay one legged Muslim refuge who was a member of a union then I think we might of got somewhere. However the only one we were apparently eligible for was a grant from The Dixie Educational Foundation, which is limited to people who have lived for at least 2 years in Market Bosworth. My only question would be where the F**K is Marker Bosworth.

Oh well time to buy a few more lottery tickets.

Day 174 & 175 (19 & 20/06/2010)

Well the weekend is here and I must cut the grass and prepare for a talk I'm giving on Tuesday, up north, where else.

I sent an email to my client in Oxford last night saying that after the summer I will be doing other things and will have to drop most of his work. I felt better. I have enough courses booked for the rest of the year to not bother and have a promise from another client of more work so I should be better off.

Update - Sun 10:00 - Well its fathers day and I had cards and a few goodies from the kids and wife.


Chocolate, cake and an egg timer, they know me so well.

Though I would include a picture of my wife in her new glasses.


Next week I will include a photo of Kelly in her new glasses and then when I have selected a new pair of glasses for me I will add that. I can't decide yet between looking like a fat Michael Caine or a fat Milky Bar Kid, or just an older version of James Cordon wearing bad fitting glasses.

Perhaps there is something in the water as we all need glasses at the same time.

Update - Sun 20:00 - Saw Mum & Dad and sat for a while in the garden in the sunshine.



Came home and cut the grass and settled in for a day of food.


Started with a nice antipasto then went had a nice steak in a pepper sauce.

There was a few bits left over, so its a shame I wont be here tomorrow night to finish it off.

Day 173 (18/06/2010)

Still nice weather, just hope it stays like this for the weekend so I can cut the grass.

I must get the garden done, its wasted as its in a state and we never use it. I think it will have to become a staff relaxation area.

Nearly up to date on my work, got about another 8 reports to do.

Update - 10:30 - The thing about running your own business is you have to be nice to your clients. The trouble with me is that if I don't want to be nice to someone then I find it hard to keep quiet.

I am really getting to the point of telling a client to "just F**K off you annoying penny pinching W****R" How he bleats on, if I could just lower my charges as he has to earn something on top. He's doing nothing for the money he gets, I am spending time and money to do the reports.

So if you area miserable git and work in Oxford think about being nice to people you rely on or you might not have anyone to do your work anymore.

I feel better now.

Day 172 (17/06/2010)

Its hot already and its only 9am.

Getting thru the backlog of work and got a few other things that I must do, like arrange for Thomas's camera to be fixed, he's missing it.

Just checked my spam filter on my email accounts. Who would of thought there was so much unclaimed money in the world that I could help free up. Perhaps I could then use that money on all those little blue pills.

To be honest I get a headache after a normal coffee so I can't even risk a can of red bull. So I hate to think of the effect of a lifetimes supply of viagra.

Perhaps I might just buy a lottery ticket instead and then spend my winnings on pizza.

Day 171 (16/06/2010)

Its a hot day again today, almost like being in country with descent weather. No doubt it will rain by the weekend or there will be a hose pipe ban.

Well its Wednesday so hopefully there is something good on at the cinema then it can be an Orange Wednesday.

Slowly getting thru my work and even did some for a charity but I don't like to talk about my charity ;-)

The lady doing my accounts yesterday asked if all of the computers I bought last year were for work. Silly question, of course I needed all of those laptops.

Thought yesterday, am I a bad parent or just a bad person?.

I only asked this because the other day I answered the door to two police officers, including a D.S from the CID, so I knew it was serious. My initial thought was F**K what have I done lately that I need to talk my way out of, so when they asked for one of the kids I was instantly relieved. Does that make me bad?

It took a few seconds before I then thought "oh no what have you got yourself involved in now"

Can't really explain but the kid in question is in the clear (thank god) but was nearby when something happened the other night but was so busy on their mobile phone they missed it all and did not know what the police were talking about.

I know some people complain that I always take my kids side in any argument and am just like the parents of kids I used to deal with in a previous working life but I hope I have the sort of relationship with my kids where if they do get involved in something they will tell me. They have previously explained getting stopped by the local police, including on one occasion last August being stopped for truancy by a pair of PCSO's or as I like to call them Tossers. Think about it August and Truancy, not an easy thing to do seeing as all the teachers are away.

So now to work, with you all wondering what the police were asking about as it never made the news.

Update - 07:45 - The hedgeman (the man who cuts our hedge) was coming round today for our yearly tidy up. Its only 7:45 and he's here already with the worlds loudest hedge trimmers. If I wasn't up already I would being calling him and whoever he was working for a complete W****R for starting work so early. My neighbours are going to hate me even more. I will have to point out that technically my wife spoke to him to arrange this (but he was supposed to be here after 8am) and not me.

Update - 22:00 - Went to see Killers with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, no I hadn't heard of her either and only knew him from twitter. It was quite funny and was nice to have a few hours away together but its not going to win any Oscars.

Slowly getting up to date with all my work, it will be nice to be back to normal and I might even get to go back on my bike soon. I did pop into the gym today on the way back from the cinema but apparently you have to make an appointment with a member of sales to be shown around. Sounds a bit fancy, probably wont want me turning up.

Day 170 (15/06/2010)

Got lots of work done yesterday but still clients calling about urgent reports, so another busy day today.

Still not cut the grass yet but having a haircut later.

Update - 12:45 - Good news, just had a hair cut and it no longer feels like I'm wearing a hat.

Bad news, I heard from a client today saying thanks for a few of the reports I did yesterday but he had only wanted me to quote for them not to do them. He said that if they used the reports I would get paid, so guess what. F**K that was a waste of time and money.

Day 169 (14/06/2010)

Feels cold out but probably just because the weekend was so hot.

Update - 13:30 - Phoned Australia to ask a question, so OK I didn't realise it was 9.30pm or a Bank Holiday.

Day 167 & 168 (12 & 13/06/2010)

Seems we are in for a nice weekend.

A months worth of work on my desk waiting to be done, new software to test, emails to send out, grass to cut and football to watch.

I will try and do a bit of each.

Just seen Birthday Honours. I hate Catherine Zeta Jones. I'm still waiting for mine. Guess the postman stole it or they don't give them to republicans who want to do away with the monarchy.

If I did get an honour it would mean I would have to dress up and that would be a pain. I wonder if they could email me an honour?

Update - Sat 23:00 - So 6 reports done, England match watched (and wished I hadn't bothered) a larger drunk and a few burgers eaten. Fairly good day.

Update - Sun 14:00 - Too hot to cut the grass, so will try and do a few reports before making a Chinese for dinner.

Day 166 (11/06/2010)

Sat on a train on my way to London for a meeting. I have made an effort but look like a tramp thats been given a suit by Oxfam.

Although I'm on a train so not having to drive, I could of drank a cup of tea and checked my messages whilst in my car and would not of had to share my personal space.

Not looking forward to the meeting but looking forward to seeing an old friend.

Update - 21:30 - Well the day started well. Met a friend of mine near here for a cup of tea.


We haven't seen each other for a few years. He hasn't aged and is looking really well. Obviously I have just got larger, but might be joining a gym next week.

Then the meeting went OK and finished early so I stopped off for some Yo Sushi before catching the training back.


Whilst waiting for my train I saw Evan Davis from Dragons' Den getting a ticket.


He's the one bending down getting change out of his bag. Not exactley "A" list star spotting but made a few minutes pass.