Day 165 (10/06/2010)

Just had an eye test, looks like both me and my wife will have glasses within the next few weeks.

I didn't have blurred vision or a headache before sitting in front of a machine which spat cool damp air into my eyes then flashed intense white light at me, now I feel awful.


Don't worry that's a photo of my eye balls not anything else.

I have only managed to get two reports done today but have a months worth of enquiries on my desk waiting to be done, most of it of which is needed now.

I'm out tomorrow so wont get it done again. Luckily I am in all next week so it will be busy.

I am giving a talk tomorrow and have not written my 5 minutes piece yet and can't use any of my old stuff as its on something else. Might be a terrible day but interesting at the same time due to some other things happening.

Day 164 (09/06/2010)

Back down south and at home at last.

It was an awful journey with two major accidents on the M6 so I was delayed by over an hour.

The day went OK and most people were happy with the training and been asked for another couple of courses.

Home tomorrow but then London for a meeting on Friday. Looking forward to seeing an old friend for a cup of tea before the meeting.

Day 163 (08/06/2010)

Oh I hate this hotel there are only half a dozen channels on the telly and the sound on a few is a bit dodgy. I miss The Great British Menu there is nothing on.

The training today was a bit of an ordeal. The computers were crap and only half the lunch got delivered. By the time I left the computers to go the the buffet there were only two sandwich's left and a little bit of fruit.

We probably wont be using this venue again.

I have so much work at the moment, so time to do a few more reports.

Day 162 (07/06/2010)

How silly is the world we live in.

My wife works in a supermarket and has done the same thing for the same company for about 13 years. She has now been told that she has 10 days to produce her British Passport to prove her entitlement to work or she will be suspended without pay.

She has always paid her national insurance and is clearly from the West Country so isn't it all a bit pointless.

It will be funny if I have to take a British Nationality test as I wouldn't pass. I have no understand or knowledge of British history as we concentrated on America (the great depression), Russia (the start of Communism) and Germany (the start of fascism). However I can see so many similarities with today in the UK. It is very sad. Plus my views on royalty probably would go down to well.

Update - 17:30 - Back up north in the crapy Travelodge. Its the last one I have booked so probably wont be back here.

When I left home it was quite nice, got here wearing t-shirt and shorts and it was pouring down.

Work to do before my curry.

Update - 20:30 - They have changed the menu slightly and done away with the Beef Madras and that was my favourite. Went for a Chicken Tikka Masala which was over done in the microwave.


Went for the Chocolate Cookie Bash Ice Cream Cake which sounds nicer than it tasted.

Looking forward to staying somewhere else next time.

Day 160 & 161 (05 & 06/06/2010)

It was annoying last night as I tried to do a few reports as a few of the databases I needed went down. So now even further behind and I have to prepare for another course next week up north again.

July and October are looking restful though.

Update - Sat 09:30 - Sat here doing my work when I heard the post being delivered. I went to get it as I am expecting a cheque, only to find a bill for £8,812.50 sent to my company.

After sitting down think what have I bought whilst drunk or asleep, I realised that it should have been sent to a company of a similar name. I have sent of an email complaining to the company saying they have sent it to me by mistake. I just hope that I am right as an unexpected bill for nearly £9K would clear me out.

Now if I was a less honest person I would be tempted to put this bill thru my company accounts and send the cheque to myself as this would mean a loss this year and therefore no tax to pay. Obviously that thought hasn't entered my mind.

Update - Sat 10:30 - So back to work and the two databases that didn't work last night are now working but another one I needed is down for the whole weekend. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH, damn people. I think its going to be one of those weekends.

Update - Sat 12:00 - The weekend just gets better. When we were away Thomas turned his camera on to find the rear lcd screen was broken. Without the screen you can not see what settings you are using so he can't use the camera. The cheapest I have just been quoted is £115.

Even if I fibbed and claimed on the insurance I would have to pay the first £50 - £75. What an expensive couple of days that was.

Update - Sun 15:30 - Why is it some people can't take constructive criticism about their driving.


I could tell you the story but needles to say I was in the right and the w**ker driving the other car wasn't and didn't like me pointing that out. Oh well can't please everyone.

Shame he lives in the same street as me.

Day 159 (04/06/2010)

Well we had a lovely Italian last night.



The girls decided to finish the evening with some flaming sambucas.


I wasn't brave enough, just watched them instead.

I enjoyed the couple of days off and the chance to work somewhere a bit different for a change.

Flew back this morning and now into the office to a load of work that has arrived whilst I was away.

Day 158 (03/06/2010)

Lovely Chinese last night.


We were beaten in the end but did our best to eat an absolute mountain of food.


The course went well, hope to be back for some more.


Haven't decided which continent we will be eating in tonight but looking forward to it.

Day 157 (02/06/2010)

First day of a course in Jersey, went OK but there were a few strange events. Looking forward to my dinner tonight.

Shocked at the awful news from Cumbria.

Day 156 (01/06/2010)

Had a bit of a walk around last night looking for a restaurant that was open. Came across a French / Italian Restaurant in the town centre. I went for the Crab and Avocado starter.


OMG that was lovely.

Did a few touristy things today as the weather was wet and very misty.



They had a lucky dip for a Pearle, where you picked your own Oyster. We were lucky and got a fairly large Peacock Pearle worth twice what we paid. Very interesting.


Having a curry tonight and then prepare for work tomorrow.

Update - 22:00 - Well that was a very nice curry (no it wasn't all mine).

Day 155 (31/05/2010)

We were up so early it was still the night before.

Arrived at Exeter International Airport but to be honest I have been in bigger Tesco's Express.


The plane was not exactly a jumbo jet but it was big enough for me.


Arrived in Jersey only to find it was closed due to the Bank Holiday.

I then entered an episode of The Prisoner, where I was stuck in the village and unable to get out, struggling to prove there is a place outside the village. The one way systems and no entry's on St Helier are unbelievable. The island could be carpeted for about £26 but I drove for nearly an hour and over 19 miles trying to break the code of the one way system. In the end it was easier to park the car and walk.

The hotel looks a bit run down but is quite nice inside.


Lots on nice restaurants nearby.

Day 153 + 154 (29 & 30/05/2010)

A bit cooler today and loads of things to do so I can be off this week. Think it might upset a few clients but I need a bit of a rest.

Day 152 (28/05/2010)

Well Andy Hamilton was very funny. His show was a bit of a ramble but everyone enjoyed it.

I think its going to be very hot today as the sun is already beating thru the curtains.

I have shed loads of stuff to do today and a few important telephone calls to make. Plus I must plan next weeks course as I know very little about the Channel Islands.

Update - 10:33 - So this morning I have taken Thomas to school for an exam, taken Kelly to College. Then picked up Thomas after his exam and now just taken him out so he can see some mates. I am now waiting for Kelly to call as she will need picking up. I love them both but if I wanted to be a taxi driver, etc etc etc.

Anyway Thomas's award yesterday was voted for by the whole year, so he was quite chuffed. I feel he was robbed as he didn't win Best Hair.


Its only plastic but quite fun.

So after yesterdays pictures of Thomas, it is Kelly's last day at college today (apart from exams).


She has certainly gone thru a few changes and is lovely. Hopefully will be able to start doing what she wants soon.


This was her on her first day at school.

She told me off for not mentioning here about her great efforts at rescuing an escaped rabbit at the weekend. She was good at picking it up and going to a few houses to find the owner, but I was good as I didn't run over it when I had at least two opportunities to do so.

Anyway made a few more changes to my websites and done a bit more work but still loads to do so I can have next week off.

I was just going to finish this but Kelly has called for a lift. Counts to 10 and gets in car with fixed smile.

Update - 12:15 - Just about to start work but thought I had to add, just as last nights show started I opened the bottle of water that my wife had bought at the theatre only to find it was sparkling water not still. I don't like sparkling water; however it wasn't that which made me unhappy. As I opened the bottle to take a quick surreptitious sip it erupted like an Icelandic volcano and I was soaked. It also went over a few people in the row in front although they were too kind and restrained to mention it.

If I had seen someone else do it, then it would of been really funny but it happened to me so it wasn't.

It also happened as the same time to Kelly, who was sat further down the row.

I blame my wife who obviously planned it.

Day 151 (27/05/2010)

We didn't do an Orange Wednesday yesterday as we are going out to see Andy Hamilton at the local theater tonight, should be funny as I love his stuff on telly and radio.

Whilst I seem to be completing work most days, every time I send a report off I seem to get new instructions via email from someone else. The chances of me actually taking next week off appear slim, although I may just tell some people they will have to wait.

Its been cool out for the last couple of days but not cold. The sort of cool you know that is actually hiding a really hot day, the sort of hot day where everyone would be complaining that its too hot.

I just went passed Thomas's door and saw he was awake but not up yet, instead he was on his computer (checking his flickr account). I was going to tell him off and say he should be getting ready but its hard to tell him off for things I do myself.

Now work.

Update - 10:50 - So Thomas has his last full day at school.


How much has changed since his first day at that school;



Update - 17:30 - So Thomas has finished at school, apart from the exams and was given a silly trophy from "Most Changed" (they must mean his appearance). His year book is like a Blue Peter Annual, his comments are very funny and clearly he is taking the piss but the teachers thought it was funny.

Day 150 (26/05/2010)

Yesterday I was busy but didn't earn anything, I hate those days. So now twice as much to do today, plus its an Orange Wednesday plus I am acting as a taxi driver for the kids as Thomas has two exams today and is coming home for lunch and revision, well I know he will have lunch but doubt the chemistry revision will get done.

Day 149 (25/05/2010)

I love Firefox and Google's Chrome is brilliant but why are there so many different types of browser.

I don't really care that there are different types of browser, its just you spend a few hours getting a website to look right using one browser, then find it just doesn't look right in the other.

Most annoying.

Update - 16:00 - Its 4pm I have been messing about with websites and answering emails and have yet to start any paid work. Why are there so few hours in the day.

Update - 19:30 - Now finished all the website updates, emails answering and asking questions, quoted for a couple of jobs and now I can start work. Dinner is ready in 2 minutes.

Day 148 (24/05/2010)

Its hot.

Well fairly busy weekend and got most of the stuff done but still trying to get the right look for the new websites.

Update - 16:45 - Still very hot, still busy.

Doing my bit to pay off the national debt, just made a huge (by my standards) VAT payment. Largest ever in 10 years. I nearly cried but thought I would save that for my tax payment which should be sorted out soon.

Day 146 & 147 (22 & 23/05/2010)

Lovely sunny weekend and a shed load of reports to do, that I must at least start.

Must get two reports done today then might cut the grass, then off out tonight with a few friends to see Ruby Wax at the local theater.

Update - Sat 10:45 - Thomas gone to a revision class (yes, on a Saturday morning) and Kelly gone to a youth theater thing. House seems very quite. Might get more work done.

Update - Sun 10:00 - Well I got the two reports done and then cut the grass. So that was good.


A group of us went to see Ruby Wax in her show Losing It which is about mental health and her breakdown. It was very funny and very good, well worth going to.

We stayed for a drink afterwards to cool off, as it was baking hot in the theater. I checked out the latest display in the gallery, which included a man sat in a chair, which was all made of cardboard.


So today is again lovely and sunny and is going to be a lol day. No, not laugh out loud, or even lolling about being lazy, its a Lots Of Laminates day. I have two courses coming up so must get everything ready for them so have to do a double laminates session and search out a new website design.

Day 145 (21/05/2010)

Me and the wife went to see The Calendar Girls in Bristol last night. It was good fun and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Charlie Dimmock was in the show as the "Considerable Bigger Buns" girl. When she was on the telly doing Ground Force she appeared quite normal, though obviously quite solid through doing a fairly manual job; however on stage she looked freakishly giant like. She was not helped by the fact that Hannah Waterman and Letitia Dean seem a lot smaller in real life. I can only assume that proper actresses are very very small and anyone normal size stood near to them looks a lot taller and bigger.

I was a bit strange that the audience consisted of about 10 blokes with their wives, whilst the the rest were groups of middle aged (and older) white women. I can only say that they obviously don't get out much as they certainly had a lot to talk about before and after the show. The noise was deafening.

Anyway now to work, whilst its lovely and sunny out today. Must cut the grass at some time and start tidying up the garden.

Update - 13:30 - I had to request copies of my wifes car insurance documents as the previous two copies didn't arrive thanks to the useless thieving git postman. Admiral Insurance appear to have Opera as their On-Hold music, how nice, but I was listening to a Best Of George Harrison album which was so much better.

Day 144 (20/05/2010)

Work to do so I can take the evening off and take my wife to the theater to see naked women.

I bought the tickets for her as we both liked the film Calender Girls. I have no idea whose in it but it was a good fun film, apart from the painful cancer death bit, hard to make that bit funny.

Update - 11:00 - Well we had a new postman today and I got my own mail.

Day 143 (19/05/2010)

Well it's an Orange Wednesday and I'm home but we aren't going out tonight as I have checked the local listing and there is nothing on at the moment. Plus we are going to the theater tomorrow to see Calender Girls in Bristol and then on Saturday going to the local theater to see Ruby Wax.

Lots to do work wise.

Update - 10:45 - Had post today, so at least the postman is trying instead of just dumping or stealing our post which he usually does but I had to give him back a couple of items as I he delivers a Tractor magazine for number 36 every month but I don't live at number 36 and don't find Tractors that interesting that I would subscribe to a magazine about them.

I phoned the local sorting office and had the same conversation as normal with the Manager who after he took details of all of my complaints about the postman was amazed that I wasn't complaining about the postman smoking on duty as this is the rule he always breaks. I said no I was only aware of him listening to his music, speaking on his phone, delivering the wrong post, opening our mail or stealing our post altogether but could confirm I had never seen him smoke so would like to complement him on this obvious improvement in his behaviour at work.

In America it would probably be legal to shoot him but as I am in the UK I can only tut and give him a disapproving look but then imagine shooting him afterwards.

Day 142 (18/05/2010)

So from an 1930 art deco training centre to a 1970's residential house.

After a hot longish drive I'm glad to be home, with the family and my own stuff.

Loads of work to catch up on and stuff to do but might relax for an hour or two.

Update - 20:30 - Decided I must do new websites for all of my sites as they are looking old and need to be a bit more modern and to grab your attention. Looking for someones site to copy or a great free template.

I should really do all of my work first.

Day 141 (17/05/2010)

Missing home watching 1980's things on the telly. It doesn't seem like 30 years ago, felling old again.

Update - 23:30 - At The Derby Conference Centre. Hopefully this link will but their website is down at the moment. The place is quite nice, I like art deco places and things.


The place dates from 1930 and was originally a training place for the railways.


The day was spent giving a presentation to a group, it went quite weell and was worth the long trip and being away from the family.


Had a nice meal with the group and a few pints. Lots of old funny stories that can't be put in print.

Have a meeting tomorrow and some discussion about more presentations, then back home.

Day 139 & 140 (15 & 16/05/2010)

Sunny weekend but a few reports to do but will try and take this evening off.

Update - Sunday 23:30 - Well Thomas went with his girlfriends family to a christening.


This made me fell quite old as I took my then girlfriend (now my wife) to a family christening when we first started going out. The baby at the christening was my cousin Peter, who is now only a few years away from being 30 and is taller than me.

I hate working on Sundays. I'm not an alcoholic but on a Sunday I like to have a can of larger whilst making dinner then share a bottle of wine with my wife with dinner. So today I made dinner whilst having a cup of tea as after dinner I had to drive to Derby as I am giving a presentation.

The place is very nice, a large art deco place but I prefer being at home.

Day 138 (14/05/2010)

Well we had a nice meal out last nights for my wife's birthday.


I am younger than her, well for the next 10 weeks I am.



We went out with Kim and Thomas's girlfriend. It is the first of our family events that his girlfriend has attended with us, so hopefully we weren't too embarrassing.

Anyway back to today, it's been a busy day so far. I have had a hair cut and bought a new office chair as my old one was basically flattened by some fat git spending hours sat on it.


I picked Kelly up from college and on the way back say a Heron at a nearby pond.


I have loads of work to do and no enthusiasm at the moment. I am in the Midlands for a few days next week, giving a talk, hopefully should a few quid as well but would rather be at home for a week.

Now time to get a few reports done.

Day 137 (13/05/2010)

Well after I dropped the kids off at school / college, I popped into Tesco's to buy my wife a cake and some flowers (she's older than me again) and had a craving for some kippers (I don't think I'm pregnant).


10 minutes in the oven then with a bit of butter and a fresh baguette. The wife had gone to work so it was a nice breakfast for one.

A lovely start to the day.

Now work.

Update - 14:45 - I am fed up of my office chair as it keeps sinking down. I must buy a new one and start cycling again soon, as my weight might have something to do with it.

Off out tonight for a meal with the family, so will take a few pictures.

Day 136 (12/05/2010)

Well I'm safely back south at home.

It was a slightly trying course, where my patients was tested an found to be wanting. I always get great feedback but this time I was marked down a little bit, which I put down to a few pains on the course. How can someone be under 30 but have never heard of Hotmail or Yahoo. I could say more but I'm sure you get the drift.

So home now just in time to catch up with all the work that has come in.

Day 135 (11/05/2010)

I not going to mention politics today. (Sing along - Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead)

Back in the tip up north. The course went OK today and I might stay in tonight and have a curry and a pint.

I do have work to do and a few dvd's to watch, so I guess I wont get the work done.

Update - 20:00 - The curry was OK not their best but the Sticky Toffeee Pudding was quite nice.


Looking forward to staying somewhere better next time, though I'm booked in here again next time.

Now shall I do some work or watch the telly and then a dvd.

Really unhappy with my mobile phone, a Nokia E71. It keeps freezing and refusing to go online. Should I wait a couple of months for the new i-phone 4g or just get a 3gs version now. Might have to flip a coin or just treat myself when I get home.

Day 134 (10/05/2010)

Nice weekend.

Nice weather out today but got things to do before I drive up north this evening but hoping to get a free hour to cut the grass.

Update - 13:30 - Forgot to mention Thomas is off sick with flu, he seems to catch things so easily, probably due to his hectic social life.

I have cut the grass but not managed any work yet.

Forgot to get the sweets for the course so must pop out to Tesco's before I drive up north.

Update - 17:00 - So is it Good Bye Gordon Brown, more like **** Off you ****. Now hello David Cameron you ******* ****. Politics, **** them all.

Day 132 & 133 (08 & 09/05/2010)

Well we had a nice night out with the family at the The Globe



Got loads to do today as I am out tomorrow with the family and then up north on Monday for another course.

Annoyingly Google has changed its search pages so I will have to re-do some of my presentation before next weeks course.

Still no government in the UK. I'm thinking of going to the Palace and asking the Queen to make me Prime Minister, thats all you have to do. It's like a race on a game show, when you run the wacky race but then you have to press the button to win. The winner isn't the first one over the line, its the first one to go over the line and then press the button. Thats all one of them has to do, see the Queen and press the button.

Anyway work time.

Update - Sat 21:45 - The bain of my life, bloody laminates.


I have done a few but have decided to issue two less on the next course. If anyone is desperate they can donwload the missing ones and print them off themselves but I think they will manage without them.

Update - Sun 18:15 - Well we had a nice lunch at The River Cottage Canteen in Axminster. Nice food, can fully recommend the Roast Pork.


And the Rhubarb Eton Mess was fantastic.


We popped into Lyme Regis and stopped off on the way for Thomas to take some arty photos of a field of yellow stuff.


We had a nice walk along the beach, it was a bit chilly but refreshing.


Then home in time for Lewis on ITV.

Day 131 (07/05/2010)

See I told you it would be better if we just had a fight to see who ruled the country.

Update - 13:45 - Gordon Brown on the radio, where is a sniper when you want one. All of a sudden that ****** is interested in electoral reform. He has never one a vote to be Prime Minister. Please somebody in power take him to one side and say the public has spoken, now f**k off.

So disappointed in the British public. A party that starts illegal wars and sets the rules for the banks and then makes us bankrupt and still people vote for then.

Well done to Brighton in electing a Green MP, the first Green MP voted in with the first past the post system in Europe.

Oh well at least we are having a nice meal out tonight then again on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Busy week.

Day 130 (06/05/2010)

Went to see Date Night last night, it was funnier than the Jennifer Aniston film but so was Schindler's List (sorry, tasteless joke).

The election is here and I will vote when I take the kids to school / college.

Update - 09:30 - Well its pouring with rain but I went to the polling station.


There wasn't really a lot to choose from, we don't even have a green candidate.

Just checked the law so thought I had better delete the photo, which I obviously never ever took inside the poling station, you must have imagined it.

Oops is it supposed to be secret?

Well I don't think anyone thinks I'm a posh **** (**** yes, posh no) or a corrupt war criminal but I'm not too keen on the French. Oh well the secrets out I'm basically just a Liberal with a few extreme left / right wing views but could never vote for an extreme party unless I was leading it.

Now that's a thought. I could have a left / right wing dictatorship, but would have to have Billy Bragg, Shami Chakrabarti and Sarah Beeny as close advisers (well the property market is very important and I would value her advice).

Having said all of the above I have sort of been offered a job with a French company (I am always saying how much I love the French people and their culture) which has a long French company name which has been abbreviated to three letters.

Unfortunately these three letters are the same as an extreme right wing racist political group in the UK. It would be hard to say "Oh yes I work for the ***".

I have only put *** instead of the actual name of the extreme right wing racist political group as I don't want search engines linking my blog to them.

I have so much work to do but just can't get started this week. Must finish this and start a report or 10.

Day 129 (05/05/2010)

Got sent this by a friend and thought it very good.


Even I admit I sound like the first two, maybe even the first three or four; however I would never vote for any of them, only the bottom two make sense although I do like Jeremy Clarkson, but probably wouldn't agree with his politics or his green views.

Anyway another busy day and we will probably be doing an "Orange Wednesday" later.

Day 128 (04/05/2010)

What an awful journey up north on Monday night, the M5 was closed due to an accident and so it took me about 30 minutes longer than need be.

It was nice to be staying in a nicer place than normal but next week I'm back to the dump.

Todays presentation went well but it was quite hard to fully concentrate due to the nice weather. Not that the sun was shinning in my eyes, it was more to do with the very short summer dress one of the women was wearing. It hardly covered her thighs whilst she was sat down. I spent most of my talk concentrating on the floor and the ceiling. What self control.

Now back home with more work to do. Think I will have to spend a whole day doing laminates for the courses I have booked.

Day 127 (03/05/2010)

We went out to a National Trust place near Exmouth on Saturday afternoon.


Then stayed out and found a nice Italian Restaurant nearby.


I have never liked Olives but am eating a few nowadays when we are out. It's a bit like touching an ulcer in your mouth, painful but you have to do it.

Took Sunday off and made a nice dinner and watched Lewis.

Have to book a few things today. Train ticket for my next trip to London - I can't be bothered to drive. Then tickets and a hotel for me and my helpers to Jersey where I am giving a course. The addition of my assistance on the course has made it less profitable but it should be a nice few days away on the company.

Update - 14:30 - When we were at the Nation Trust Property (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-alaronde.htm) the other day I bought a thing to help make poached eggs.


So we used it to today.



It helps the eggs keep their shape and it's a a bit less messy, so will probably use it again.

Finished to presentation for tomorrow might get an hour of this afternoon before driving up north later.

Day 125 & 126 (01 & 02/05/2010)

May here already, and a busy months it's going to be, as if the last two or three have been in any way relaxing.

Must get a few bits of work done (it's too early) and then go out for the day with my wife.

Update - 12:15 - Well I have done a few work things and emptied the bins and went out to to do the re-cycling. On the way back I saw an old man busking with a violin who seemed to have a man in full Scottish dress acting as his minder.


Strange views from my life.