Day 185 (30/06/2010)

Well the film awards last night were really good.


Kelly and her friends made an effort and all looked great.

Yes that's the famous Oscar of Phill Jupitus / Cornish Pasty fame with a Fez and Fishnet's combinations.

Kelly won an Award for Technical Achievement and her actress got Best Actor.


She gave a great speech and was the true star of the whole glittering event.

We are all very proud of her.

So today Kelly has her last exam and Thomas has his prom.

Update - 14:30 - Just got back from the garage in my wifes car. Luckily it only needs a new power steering unit, new belt unit, service and an air-conditioning re-gas and clean.

Well that should only be around £650 and no way I can link it to my work, damn.

You should never have a car more than 3yrs old, they are worse than kids for costing you money.

Update - 15:15 - Just booked for a couple of days (working) in Dublin next week. I shall be taking a member of staff but not the kids. Hope the weather stays nice. Looking forward to a cool pint of Guinness and a nice big breakfast.

Day 184 (29/06/2010)

I meant to say on yesterdays blog that I had to attend a meeting in London all to do with work. Whilst there just to kill a bit of time I popped in to see a show at the Bloomsbury Theater.



Really like Richard Herring, Emma Kennedy and the rest of the cast of AIOTM.

It was a nice way to finish off a works meeting.

Anyway back to work today.

Have Kelly's film tonight.

Day 183 (28/06/2010)

Busy day with 8 long reports to do but going to London with a friend to see a comedy show instead.

Day 181 & 182 (26 & 27/06/2010)

So after yesterdays shattering disappointment at not being able to get an iphone unless I end up paying hundreds of pounds I have had another big shopping disappointment this morning.

I have never seen the point of the ipad but I have a member of staff who complains that when they are in the lower offices relaxing that there are times they would like access to the internet.

I did buy a laptop for her 2 years ago which she never uses. So when she does need it, it always needs the anti virus and windows updating, so she doesn't bother.

I thought the ipad would be ideal so visited all the places in Taunton but no-one has them, they only order them for customers as there is no demand. Of course there is a demand, I want one you bastards and I want it now.

So now I have to either drive for an hour to visit an apple store or just go on-line and order it. Think I will order one and bid for an old iphone on ebay, which should see me thru until my contract runs out.

Update - Sat 11:15 - Ordered my ipad but received an email saying it wont be here until around the 12th of July. AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH.

Update - Sat 20:30 - Its hot, work to do, Glastonbury on the telly and football on as well. Too many things to do, thank god Dominoes deliver. I had a great pizza, now back to work with Shakira on the iplayer.

Shakira's OK (well the hips don't lie) but I prefer Lauren Laverne, she's just about perfect.


I am gutted that this is as close as I will ever get to her.

Update - Sun 09:00 - At least there will always be me and Kylie.


It was so hot yesterday that I decided on a simple t-shirt and shorts combination. I'm so glad as when I was watching the Scissor Sisters on the telly at Glastonbury I would nearly have been wearing the same as Jake Shears,


that would have been just so embarrassing.

Anyway the Scissors Sisters were good and so were the Pet Shop Boys. I love the coverage on BBC and 6 Music but time for some work, might play some Rufus Wainwright.

I'm beginning to wonder if my wife has been putting anything in my tea lately.

Update - Sun 10:00 - Just had a chat with my young aunty C. Discussed the Ground Hog Day that is England at football.

I am predicting that we will be out of the World Cup by this evening. We will be out played, then Rooney will get upset and slide tackle someone and get sent off in disgrace. England the plucky loosers, again and again and again.

We invented the game so lets tell everyone else they can't play our game.

To enter the World Cup, instead of having qualifying games the criteria could be, "Did you invent the game?"

"Yes" "Well come on in then"
or
"No" "Well go away"

We could then do the same with Cricket.

Have the Americans or Australians ever invented a sport that we are interested in, well no, so it won't matter if they adopt the new rules.

The Greek economy is bankrupt so they could do the same for the Olympics but could then sell places to other countries. This would help their economy and mean that our over paid and over pampered stars could win a medal, rather than trailing behind an African who has only relied on his talent and love of running.

Now, back to Rufus.

Day 180 (25/06/2010)

Well I had intended to start work early but had some stuff to do so put some youtube stuff on. Nearly 2 hours later I have watched loads of Lee & Herring stuff. So funny I wish I had appreciated it more when it was first out.

I must do some work.

Might go into town later and ask about an iphone.

Update - 13:45 - Spoke with Orange on the phone and worked out a deal for a new iphone but it would have to be posted to me and I wouldn't get it until Monday, so like a spoilt impatient child I thought I wanted it now so would go into town and get one at the Orange shop instead.

Went to town and found that the Orange shop had only been sent 6 iphones which were all sold yesterday. I tried the two other phone shops in town only to be told the same. Bugger Bugger Bugger.

Now back home waiting on hold for Orange to see if I can order one instead.

Not actually done any paid work so far and do not have an iphone. Sometimes life is shit.

Decided to get another camera (for the company) after the other smashed when we landed in Jersey as it will still take a few weeks to get it repaired and my staff are unable to take any pictures in the mean time. I managed to get a good deal but still spent a fortune; however I now have very happy staff.

Update - 14:15 - Finally got thru to Orange who said I could get a new phone and transfer the numbers round. I would have to buy out my contract for £300 and then start a new contract with an iphone or to buy an iphone.

Life is just so unfair.

I was so happy earlier at the thought of getting an iphone now to say I am upset is an understatement. I probably wont drive today as road rage is a possibility.

Bugger Bugger Bugger.

Day 179 (24/06/2010)

After going out last night I must catch up on work. I still got jobs left from before I went to Jersey. Some clients obviously wanting their work done but trying to keep most people happy.

Update - 13:00 - Two interesting events. Firstly I used the boiled egg device that Kelly got me for Fathers Day. It worked brilliantly and my eggs were just right.

Second incident hopefully does not involve my parents. I was in town having dropped Kelly off at college and doing the re-cycling. I was driving back, wearing my sunglasses as it is very sunny, and noticed there was a silver car basically taking up the whole road and driving towards me. I pulled towards it a bit to get it to pull over to its own side, which it did. As we passed I pointed out what I thought of the other driver in my own verbal shorthand.

It was only after we passed did I noticed that it was the same car as my parents and as I had been wearing my sunglasses I had not seen the occupants of the car.

So hopefully it was not my Mum & Dad or anyone else I know.

Day 178 (23/06/2010)

Its 06:30 and the sun is beating down into the office already. Its going to be hot today.

England playing this afternoon so hopefully I will clear up a few old jobs in time to watch.

We are not doing an Orange Wednesday today, although there are one or two films on I would like to see as its the Anniversary of me and my wife first meeting in 1984.

Yes 1984, a time when we looked in horror and disbelief at a totalitarian regime, an oligarchical collectivist society where life is a world of perpetual war, pervasive government surveillance, public mind control, and the voiding of citizens' rights.

If only it had been called 2004 then Orwell would have been spot on.

Anyway looking at happier times, then I have booked a meal at a Mediterranean Restaurant, so it will be like being away on holiday but only having to pop out for an hour or two.

Will try and include a photo of Kelly in her glasses. She always looks good in hats and glasses, lucky girl.

Update - 9:50 - 1 report done already loads to go. Decided to down load a few more podcasts and felt like I needed some more Eminem so my computer is running really slowly and should have everything downloaded in about 8 hours. This might slow up my work but never mind.

Update - 22:00 - I have decided that getting Kelly insured to drive my car was money well spent. This is because me and the wife have drunk far too much as Kelly took us out and picked us up from the restaurant tonight.

We went to Tournedos a Mediterranean restaurant and it was great although I think half the bill ended up as drinks.

Had tapas for starters.


Follower by a Lamb Kebab for me,


it looked a bit strange but was really tasty.

My wife had the stuffed chicken breast, which was lovely.


I then went for the Melon Ice-Cream with Chili,


it was interesting. You ended up with a cold mouth and burning throat.

I always wondered what chili ice-cream was like and now I know I shan't have to order it again.

Day 177 (22/06/2010)

Gave a day long presentation to a large group in a warm and stuff lecture theater. It went down well but is was nice to finish so I could get in my can and put the air conditioning on.

Drove home in the heat of the evening, listening to the cricket.

Day 176 (21/06/2010)

Its baking hot and its only 9am. The sort of baking hot where the thought of a near 4hour drive up north is not good.

Thankfully I am not staying in my normal dive but somewhere just a little bit better.

I have been filling out an application for a grant for Thomas going to Collegein September.

Locally we can get £135 p/year to help with transport costs, as the course is not available within the county. Its a shame the actual cost of getting to Bristol everyday will be nearer £1,000 a year.

We are above the threshold for most of the other grants but by the time we have paid for the transport and all the equipment we will be well below but that doesn't count. Typical that Thomas choose photography, a course where you need a lot of expensive equipment.

I have just filled out an online application that checked over 1200 organisations that hand out grants to students. Most of the questions were only applicable to the sort of people that Daily Mail readers hate. If Thomas was a gay one legged Muslim refuge who was a member of a union then I think we might of got somewhere. However the only one we were apparently eligible for was a grant from The Dixie Educational Foundation, which is limited to people who have lived for at least 2 years in Market Bosworth. My only question would be where the F**K is Marker Bosworth.

Oh well time to buy a few more lottery tickets.

Day 174 & 175 (19 & 20/06/2010)

Well the weekend is here and I must cut the grass and prepare for a talk I'm giving on Tuesday, up north, where else.

I sent an email to my client in Oxford last night saying that after the summer I will be doing other things and will have to drop most of his work. I felt better. I have enough courses booked for the rest of the year to not bother and have a promise from another client of more work so I should be better off.

Update - Sun 10:00 - Well its fathers day and I had cards and a few goodies from the kids and wife.


Chocolate, cake and an egg timer, they know me so well.

Though I would include a picture of my wife in her new glasses.


Next week I will include a photo of Kelly in her new glasses and then when I have selected a new pair of glasses for me I will add that. I can't decide yet between looking like a fat Michael Caine or a fat Milky Bar Kid, or just an older version of James Cordon wearing bad fitting glasses.

Perhaps there is something in the water as we all need glasses at the same time.

Update - Sun 20:00 - Saw Mum & Dad and sat for a while in the garden in the sunshine.



Came home and cut the grass and settled in for a day of food.


Started with a nice antipasto then went had a nice steak in a pepper sauce.

There was a few bits left over, so its a shame I wont be here tomorrow night to finish it off.

Day 173 (18/06/2010)

Still nice weather, just hope it stays like this for the weekend so I can cut the grass.

I must get the garden done, its wasted as its in a state and we never use it. I think it will have to become a staff relaxation area.

Nearly up to date on my work, got about another 8 reports to do.

Update - 10:30 - The thing about running your own business is you have to be nice to your clients. The trouble with me is that if I don't want to be nice to someone then I find it hard to keep quiet.

I am really getting to the point of telling a client to "just F**K off you annoying penny pinching W****R" How he bleats on, if I could just lower my charges as he has to earn something on top. He's doing nothing for the money he gets, I am spending time and money to do the reports.

So if you area miserable git and work in Oxford think about being nice to people you rely on or you might not have anyone to do your work anymore.

I feel better now.

Day 172 (17/06/2010)

Its hot already and its only 9am.

Getting thru the backlog of work and got a few other things that I must do, like arrange for Thomas's camera to be fixed, he's missing it.

Just checked my spam filter on my email accounts. Who would of thought there was so much unclaimed money in the world that I could help free up. Perhaps I could then use that money on all those little blue pills.

To be honest I get a headache after a normal coffee so I can't even risk a can of red bull. So I hate to think of the effect of a lifetimes supply of viagra.

Perhaps I might just buy a lottery ticket instead and then spend my winnings on pizza.

Day 171 (16/06/2010)

Its a hot day again today, almost like being in country with descent weather. No doubt it will rain by the weekend or there will be a hose pipe ban.

Well its Wednesday so hopefully there is something good on at the cinema then it can be an Orange Wednesday.

Slowly getting thru my work and even did some for a charity but I don't like to talk about my charity ;-)

The lady doing my accounts yesterday asked if all of the computers I bought last year were for work. Silly question, of course I needed all of those laptops.

Thought yesterday, am I a bad parent or just a bad person?.

I only asked this because the other day I answered the door to two police officers, including a D.S from the CID, so I knew it was serious. My initial thought was F**K what have I done lately that I need to talk my way out of, so when they asked for one of the kids I was instantly relieved. Does that make me bad?

It took a few seconds before I then thought "oh no what have you got yourself involved in now"

Can't really explain but the kid in question is in the clear (thank god) but was nearby when something happened the other night but was so busy on their mobile phone they missed it all and did not know what the police were talking about.

I know some people complain that I always take my kids side in any argument and am just like the parents of kids I used to deal with in a previous working life but I hope I have the sort of relationship with my kids where if they do get involved in something they will tell me. They have previously explained getting stopped by the local police, including on one occasion last August being stopped for truancy by a pair of PCSO's or as I like to call them Tossers. Think about it August and Truancy, not an easy thing to do seeing as all the teachers are away.

So now to work, with you all wondering what the police were asking about as it never made the news.

Update - 07:45 - The hedgeman (the man who cuts our hedge) was coming round today for our yearly tidy up. Its only 7:45 and he's here already with the worlds loudest hedge trimmers. If I wasn't up already I would being calling him and whoever he was working for a complete W****R for starting work so early. My neighbours are going to hate me even more. I will have to point out that technically my wife spoke to him to arrange this (but he was supposed to be here after 8am) and not me.

Update - 22:00 - Went to see Killers with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, no I hadn't heard of her either and only knew him from twitter. It was quite funny and was nice to have a few hours away together but its not going to win any Oscars.

Slowly getting up to date with all my work, it will be nice to be back to normal and I might even get to go back on my bike soon. I did pop into the gym today on the way back from the cinema but apparently you have to make an appointment with a member of sales to be shown around. Sounds a bit fancy, probably wont want me turning up.

Day 170 (15/06/2010)

Got lots of work done yesterday but still clients calling about urgent reports, so another busy day today.

Still not cut the grass yet but having a haircut later.

Update - 12:45 - Good news, just had a hair cut and it no longer feels like I'm wearing a hat.

Bad news, I heard from a client today saying thanks for a few of the reports I did yesterday but he had only wanted me to quote for them not to do them. He said that if they used the reports I would get paid, so guess what. F**K that was a waste of time and money.

Day 169 (14/06/2010)

Feels cold out but probably just because the weekend was so hot.

Update - 13:30 - Phoned Australia to ask a question, so OK I didn't realise it was 9.30pm or a Bank Holiday.

Day 167 & 168 (12 & 13/06/2010)

Seems we are in for a nice weekend.

A months worth of work on my desk waiting to be done, new software to test, emails to send out, grass to cut and football to watch.

I will try and do a bit of each.

Just seen Birthday Honours. I hate Catherine Zeta Jones. I'm still waiting for mine. Guess the postman stole it or they don't give them to republicans who want to do away with the monarchy.

If I did get an honour it would mean I would have to dress up and that would be a pain. I wonder if they could email me an honour?

Update - Sat 23:00 - So 6 reports done, England match watched (and wished I hadn't bothered) a larger drunk and a few burgers eaten. Fairly good day.

Update - Sun 14:00 - Too hot to cut the grass, so will try and do a few reports before making a Chinese for dinner.

Day 166 (11/06/2010)

Sat on a train on my way to London for a meeting. I have made an effort but look like a tramp thats been given a suit by Oxfam.

Although I'm on a train so not having to drive, I could of drank a cup of tea and checked my messages whilst in my car and would not of had to share my personal space.

Not looking forward to the meeting but looking forward to seeing an old friend.

Update - 21:30 - Well the day started well. Met a friend of mine near here for a cup of tea.


We haven't seen each other for a few years. He hasn't aged and is looking really well. Obviously I have just got larger, but might be joining a gym next week.

Then the meeting went OK and finished early so I stopped off for some Yo Sushi before catching the training back.


Whilst waiting for my train I saw Evan Davis from Dragons' Den getting a ticket.


He's the one bending down getting change out of his bag. Not exactley "A" list star spotting but made a few minutes pass.

Day 165 (10/06/2010)

Just had an eye test, looks like both me and my wife will have glasses within the next few weeks.

I didn't have blurred vision or a headache before sitting in front of a machine which spat cool damp air into my eyes then flashed intense white light at me, now I feel awful.


Don't worry that's a photo of my eye balls not anything else.

I have only managed to get two reports done today but have a months worth of enquiries on my desk waiting to be done, most of it of which is needed now.

I'm out tomorrow so wont get it done again. Luckily I am in all next week so it will be busy.

I am giving a talk tomorrow and have not written my 5 minutes piece yet and can't use any of my old stuff as its on something else. Might be a terrible day but interesting at the same time due to some other things happening.

Day 164 (09/06/2010)

Back down south and at home at last.

It was an awful journey with two major accidents on the M6 so I was delayed by over an hour.

The day went OK and most people were happy with the training and been asked for another couple of courses.

Home tomorrow but then London for a meeting on Friday. Looking forward to seeing an old friend for a cup of tea before the meeting.

Day 163 (08/06/2010)

Oh I hate this hotel there are only half a dozen channels on the telly and the sound on a few is a bit dodgy. I miss The Great British Menu there is nothing on.

The training today was a bit of an ordeal. The computers were crap and only half the lunch got delivered. By the time I left the computers to go the the buffet there were only two sandwich's left and a little bit of fruit.

We probably wont be using this venue again.

I have so much work at the moment, so time to do a few more reports.

Day 162 (07/06/2010)

How silly is the world we live in.

My wife works in a supermarket and has done the same thing for the same company for about 13 years. She has now been told that she has 10 days to produce her British Passport to prove her entitlement to work or she will be suspended without pay.

She has always paid her national insurance and is clearly from the West Country so isn't it all a bit pointless.

It will be funny if I have to take a British Nationality test as I wouldn't pass. I have no understand or knowledge of British history as we concentrated on America (the great depression), Russia (the start of Communism) and Germany (the start of fascism). However I can see so many similarities with today in the UK. It is very sad. Plus my views on royalty probably would go down to well.

Update - 17:30 - Back up north in the crapy Travelodge. Its the last one I have booked so probably wont be back here.

When I left home it was quite nice, got here wearing t-shirt and shorts and it was pouring down.

Work to do before my curry.

Update - 20:30 - They have changed the menu slightly and done away with the Beef Madras and that was my favourite. Went for a Chicken Tikka Masala which was over done in the microwave.


Went for the Chocolate Cookie Bash Ice Cream Cake which sounds nicer than it tasted.

Looking forward to staying somewhere else next time.

Day 160 & 161 (05 & 06/06/2010)

It was annoying last night as I tried to do a few reports as a few of the databases I needed went down. So now even further behind and I have to prepare for another course next week up north again.

July and October are looking restful though.

Update - Sat 09:30 - Sat here doing my work when I heard the post being delivered. I went to get it as I am expecting a cheque, only to find a bill for £8,812.50 sent to my company.

After sitting down think what have I bought whilst drunk or asleep, I realised that it should have been sent to a company of a similar name. I have sent of an email complaining to the company saying they have sent it to me by mistake. I just hope that I am right as an unexpected bill for nearly £9K would clear me out.

Now if I was a less honest person I would be tempted to put this bill thru my company accounts and send the cheque to myself as this would mean a loss this year and therefore no tax to pay. Obviously that thought hasn't entered my mind.

Update - Sat 10:30 - So back to work and the two databases that didn't work last night are now working but another one I needed is down for the whole weekend. AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH, damn people. I think its going to be one of those weekends.

Update - Sat 12:00 - The weekend just gets better. When we were away Thomas turned his camera on to find the rear lcd screen was broken. Without the screen you can not see what settings you are using so he can't use the camera. The cheapest I have just been quoted is £115.

Even if I fibbed and claimed on the insurance I would have to pay the first £50 - £75. What an expensive couple of days that was.

Update - Sun 15:30 - Why is it some people can't take constructive criticism about their driving.


I could tell you the story but needles to say I was in the right and the w**ker driving the other car wasn't and didn't like me pointing that out. Oh well can't please everyone.

Shame he lives in the same street as me.

Day 159 (04/06/2010)

Well we had a lovely Italian last night.



The girls decided to finish the evening with some flaming sambucas.


I wasn't brave enough, just watched them instead.

I enjoyed the couple of days off and the chance to work somewhere a bit different for a change.

Flew back this morning and now into the office to a load of work that has arrived whilst I was away.

Day 158 (03/06/2010)

Lovely Chinese last night.


We were beaten in the end but did our best to eat an absolute mountain of food.


The course went well, hope to be back for some more.


Haven't decided which continent we will be eating in tonight but looking forward to it.

Day 157 (02/06/2010)

First day of a course in Jersey, went OK but there were a few strange events. Looking forward to my dinner tonight.

Shocked at the awful news from Cumbria.

Day 156 (01/06/2010)

Had a bit of a walk around last night looking for a restaurant that was open. Came across a French / Italian Restaurant in the town centre. I went for the Crab and Avocado starter.


OMG that was lovely.

Did a few touristy things today as the weather was wet and very misty.



They had a lucky dip for a Pearle, where you picked your own Oyster. We were lucky and got a fairly large Peacock Pearle worth twice what we paid. Very interesting.


Having a curry tonight and then prepare for work tomorrow.

Update - 22:00 - Well that was a very nice curry (no it wasn't all mine).