Day 94 (31/03/10)

Well that was a long and rainy journey home. York is a lovely place but it's just so far away.

Now back in the office and to do the work that has come in whilst I was away. I always aim to do some work whilst I'm away but just never feel like it.

It's Orange Wednesday but I'm seeing Richard Herring (www.richardherring.com) at the Brewhouse tonight. I have seen this show before but Kelly got me a ticket for Christmas. Not the sort of show my wife would like so I am going alone and may go out for a meal tomorrow night.

Now to work.

Day 93 (30/03/10)

Just parked in a long stay car park in York. Either it's really expensive or I just bought a plot of land the size of a car.

York and Bristol are obviously twinned (by car parking charges).

Day 92 (29/03/10)

I hate driving (I think I might have mentioned that before) so a nice 4 1/2 hr drive up to York was really nice on a Sunday evening. I arrived in a crapy Travelodge (why do I book this cheap crap) with a bad headache and went to bed.

It seems for some reason I booked a twin room and not a double. The quilt is so small it barely covers me.

Had a nice long walk to the University after I got given shit directions from the receptionist in the Travelodge. Got there in time but knackered.


Venue and delegates OK but a pain not having a bottle of water in the room (quite strict on Health & Safety).

Left the University to walk back to the Travelodge and thought I would try to find my own route back without the aide of a map, directions or knowledge. After about an hour of walking round in circles I got a cab who took me the Travelodge. Still York is very nice.


I would come back with my wife for a nice relaxing weekend if it was 4hrs nearer.

There are loads of nice restaurants here but settled on the Karachi Restaurant. My god what a meal but the size of the Naan Bread.


I tried my best but felt like a failure.


I wish I was here for a few more night but driving back tomorrow.

Just heard that Claudia Winkleman is the new presenter of Film 2010. I like Claudia Winkleman as much as the next hetrosexual man and would love to see here do a programme about hot tubs and lingerie but Film 2010. There are loads of people who already review films within the BBC and who should have been given a chance on a bigger stage.

Day 90 & 91 (27 & 28/03/10)

Well had poached eggs on muffins, very nice, getting quite good at them.

Got to update my course material and do three reports today as I have to drive for about 4 hours up north on Sunday, as the course starts on Monday morning.

Once again I am missing my Sunday dinner and bottle on wine. The things you do for money.

Day 89 (26/03/10)

I love my printer and was telling my family how good it is and that I hadn't needed to change a cartridge yet, despite printing loads for the courses and loads of Thomas's photographs for his course, then my black ran out.

I don't mind, I reckon it lasts at least three times longer than my old printer cartridges and probably only costs twice as much, so I'm.................. ......... ......... ............ ............. I don't know, I'm not Carol Vorderman

Update - 17:15 - I have decided I have a sex obsessed computer, not that it was taking me to a porn site on the internet but I was writing a report, where the subject was from Bearsted in Maidstone.

What a choice I had from the spell checker, but none of them were appropriate.

Day 88 (25/03/10)

Well Orange Wednesday yesterday and not a great choice, so we saw "The Bounty Hunter" with Jennifer Aniston (in 1D). Has her whole career been her playing herself. Surely it must be wrong to call yourself an actor if you can only play yourself.

Saying that it was quite fun and broke up the evening.

Now work, too much to do to be on my bike this week.

Day 87 (24/03/10)

Whilst on my recent long drives I have noticed there are loads of white coloured Fiat 500's.


But is it just me or do these cars actually look like Star Wars Storm troopers?



OK but pretty close I'm sure you'll agree.

Is this some fascist plan by an Italian company or could it be like a plot from Dr Who, where the aliens are slowly invading, disguised as friendly cars.

I can't decide but I'm not getting in one of these cars just in case (Obviously I currently wouldn't fit in one of these cars, but if I did I wouldn't get in one)

Now back to work, though some of you probably think after reading this that I need a rest.

Day 86 (23/03/10)

Just (21:45) got back after a day away and a long drive back home. Interesting time and plenty to think about.

Will write more tomorrow after a sit down and a cup of tea.

Day 85 (22/03/10)

Getting ready this morning I realised that the shower has been replaced by a unit that tests police water-cannon.

Managed to get some breakfast and spoke with reception who lost the email for my room. Apparently my group do qualify for kettles but some of the other groups do not. As I was put in the only free room there was no kettle in it, but now I have one.


The class rooms are bit more organised than I am used to but it was not overwhelming.


Had a nice lunch, went for the salad rather than a curry, but if its on the menu later I will be having the curry.

Day 83 & 84 (20 & 21/03/10)

The weekend is here and a few work thins to do, but will try to relax for a few hours.

Watched Sports Relief and am really impressed by Eddie Izzard and had followed him on Twitter whilst he was on his Marathons. I donated to him at the time but think he deserves more. He did much more than the celebrities who cycled a bit along the country.

Please Donate @ https://www.sportrelief.com/whats-on/challenges/eddie/donate

Update - Sun 23:30 - Got invited to a government training place for a few days, to see if we could help each other out. Arrived after a pig of a journey only to find that they had no record of a room booked for me, but they let me in anyway.


Nice room but no kettle and only the 5 channels on the telly. Not that good then.

Day 82 (19/03/10)

In London for the day.

In my car I, like most people, have a spare wheel just in case of emergencies, then I past this guy, what sort of emergency was he expecting;


I don't think that Londoners understand that we only need to have practical little fuel efficient cars. I mean a 4x4 is one thing but this is crazy;


Noticed this sign outside New Scotland Yard, very funny;



I had an hour to kill in London so I took some photo's of some touristy things which I have put on Facebook.

Day 81 (18/03/10)

My wife woke me up at 8.30 this morning by saying "I thought you were up" which I clearly wasn't, I was still asleep.

Within 5 minutes I was ready and was giving Thomas money for lunch. He has pocket money that includes an allowance for school dinners but he never has any change, so always gets more money every morning. Even when the schools are on holiday he still gets the same pocket money, with the added bit for school dinners. It's like an episode of Hustle. If it wasn't for the fact that its me that's being mugged I would feel proud at the way he is able to get round people with his nice manner. He should have been royalty, he never pays for anything.

My wife is taking Kelly to a college open day in Salisbury and was leaving at nearly the same time. She said something about not having money for lunch and asked me if I had any. I only had £15 in my wallet which I handed over.

So in 5 minutes I had gone from nicely asleep under a warm quilt to having been mugged twice by my own family.

This is why there should be a married mans tax allowance, so I would actually have something for myself. They should call it the "poor sod allowance" as I am sure those unmarried folks without kids, who in my mind are out having fun, just look at us and go "poor sod".

They could give it out in vouchers, that can only be spent by middle-aged men who looked like their best years are behind them and that are just abused as taxi drivers and cash machines. We know that look. I see that look whenever I look in the mirror.

And that finishes "Thought For The Day" now work.

Update - 16:30 - I can't believe I have worked non stop all day but have not actually done any work that has earnt any money yet. I have booked all my hotel rooms for my courses, sent out loads of emails and some quotes and done other things and now its 4.30pm and I haven't actually earnt any money yet.

Hopefully I will get at least two reports done now as I am in London tomorrow.

Day 80 (17/03/10)

I think the local farmers have started muck spreading, it stinks out there today. The joys of the countryside.

Getting on top of work, have a least of about 19 things that need doing and 5 reports to complete.

Postman delivered the wrong mail again yesterday, idiot.

Today I delivered the mail to the other house and spoke with them. Apparently the young idiot postman got the job as his dad works in the sorting office. So presumably that's two family members that can't read.

I wonder if the post office have signed up for gift aid as a tax benefit as surely employing these two idiots is an act of charity.

Update - 13:45 - Been to the cinema and got Kelly 4 tickets for her and her friends to see Alice In Wonderland in 3D. Nothing on we want to see so I guess I am taking the wife out for a meal tonight. Now should it be Subway or KFC as I like the choice of fillings at Subway but I like the Chicken selection at KFC, there's only one way decide,...........Fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update - 22:00 - Well we went to the Worlds End, a pub that does nice food, plus we had a voucher for a free bottle of wine.

I went for the Steak


The wife went for the fish pie.


All very nice.

Lots of press about the "Legal High" drugs that may have contributed to two deaths. The deaths are very sad as are the deaths of anyone; however these kids had been drinking and taking a mixture of drugs, so the alcohol may have contributed to the deaths but no-one is calling on the government to ban alcohol.

Grow up everyone, making things illegal doesn't work, think about prohibition in America. Regulate the industry, so you know what is in your product, plus you can charge tax, just like with alcohol and cigarettes, which are the two biggest killers.

Anyway time to get off my soap box and have a cup of tea.

Day 79 (16/03/10)

Well the very large reports are done, now I just have 7 normal sized reports to do then I am up to date, as long as I don't get anything else in this week, as I have to be out of the office for most of it.

Missing my bike, think I might have to start off on short rides again and build myself up to the big hills and second lap.

College later.

Update - 22:30 - How nice it was to get away from my desk and my computer and get to college and relax.


OK so it's a different desk and a different computer. Just because its a writing course I don't see why I should actually write with a pen.

I had a chat to my brother on the way and he had planted the idea of a battered sausage and chips for dinner. Well it was a lovely idea and an even better meal. Not one I would recommend every week but a nice tasty treat for the arteries.

Have found a few old friends on facebook lately, nice to see they are well, but it does make you realise how the years pass without you keeping in touch with friends you were once very very close to.

Orange Wednesday tomorrow. Have to check out what is on at the cinema or might go out for dinner.

I still have lots on and have just agreed to go somewhere for three days next week to try something out. Might be work in the long run or might just be useful but I could do without giving my time up, especially for free, I'm definitely a crap businessman.

Day 78 (15/03/10)

Must get three large reports done today, clients waiting.

Update - 20:30 - Finally finished an large job for a client. 9 long reports, which they then decided they wanted put into one very large report, so I had to go thru it and change all the page numbers and find away to send them a file that was far too large to email.

Now I can get on with the other stuff that is overdue as well.

Day 76 & 77 (13 & 14/03/10)

The weekend is here but no days off as I have about 12 reports that need doing so I can get my work up to date.

But first breakfast and I feel another poached egg session coming on, especially as Sam had given me some of her eggs (well not hers, that would be IVF but I can't remember the chickens name).


I still haven't bought any special equipment so still following Jamie's advice with the saucepan (I'm not a Nigella man).


Then on to some nice crumpets.


Dropped Kelly off at work and had to get my wife some stuff for Mothers Day. She had got my mum something but hadn't bought anything for her self, how thoughtless. Luckily Tescos does everything and you can park.


I know a Rhoid Gilbert comedy dvd doesn't seem like an ideal Mothers Day gift but she bought me Slum Dog Millionaire for Fathers Day so I'm just getting my own back.

Anyway Thomas has just heard back from a local exhibition that he entered that three of his photographs have been selected and are now on public display. I fell a visit to see them, followed by a curry to congratulate him.

Update - Sat 23:00 - Went with Thomas to see the exhibition, very pleased for him, having 3 out of the 10 photographs chosen.


Nearly got 3 reports done today, wish I had done more but its a start. Must get at least another two done tomorrow.

Update - Sun 19:30 - Made a nice dinner for mothers day. Starters were baked halloumi with figs on a rocket salad with balsamic vinegar, which was inspired by our visit to the Globe in Milverton. Very nice.


Then we had pan fried herring (fillets) for the main course. I also did a lemon & dill sauce (well that was out of a packet).


Thomas had a tuna steak and Kelly had something vegi in a filo pastry.

Not got much work done, possibly due to the bottle of bucks fizz and then rose cava that we had with dinner.

Day 75 (12/03/10)

Well the meeting about work was OK but I'm a crap businessman and gave in on price for a chance to get my foot in the door. Hopefully in the long run it will pay off.

Whilst there bumped into a couple of people I hadn't seen for a few years so it was nice to catch up. Plus got talking and might be doing some stuff for one of them. Again no money yet but might pay off eventually. I really should get myself registered as a charity.

Dave Gorman was very funny and very different to the other comedian I have seen recently.

So today, lots of work that has to be done (as always) plus I have a haircut booked, which I can't wait for.

Update - 14:45 - Had a hair cut and now feel so much better.


The sign for the hairdressers in bigger than the sign for the pet shop but you do have to go through the pet shop to get to the hairdressers.

Got tickets today for Jason Mansford, not until October but looking forward to it. Taking my wife this time so she can't complain.

Day 74 (11/03/10)

Saw Alice In Wonderland in 3D last night on our Orange Wednesday night out.

Firstly I didn't realise that tickets to see a 3D film would be £2 more than for a normal film. Saying that it was worth it and fun seeing it in 3D but I think its a film which would be as good in a normal screen. Anyway well worth seeing.

So today the big news is that the rest of the country has been added to Google street view.

Unfortunately this was taken last summer when I was doing the fence at the back of the house and the old fence was just thrown on the drive waiting to be taken to the tip. Plus the hedge is looking a bit unhealthy.

I was filmed by the camera car at 9.20am on the 7th of August 2009 as I drove past the bingo hall in Taunton, but having checked this on street view they have film going the other way up the street so I have been left on the editing room floor like some unwanted bit-part actor.

Anyway busy day today, like they all are lately. Work to do then shower and clean up for a meeting about doing some work down south as opposed to up north, then driving over to Cardiff for a pizza and to see Dave Gorman. I hope he's funny. But if he is really funny then my wife will only complain that I didn't get her a ticket and took a friend instead (long story don't ask).

Day 73 (10/03/10)

I have been so busy I haven't had a haircut for ages and my hair is starting to need a brush, which is just far to long, so booked in to have it cut on Friday.

It's a very classy place, well actually its not, its part of a pet shop. I only go there because it's easy to park, that and they clip your nails an give you a new collar.

Now work.

Day 72 (09/03/10)

Work, work, work, work, then work. Oh for those days when I could go out on my bike, play a game of chess and watch the i-player (not all at the same time) then just work of an evening.

I do have a few fun things this week. We (me and the wife out on our "Wednesday Us Time")are going to see Alice In Wonderland in 3D on Orange Wednesday. Then Thursday I am seeing Dave Gorman (not with my wife).

I wrote a letter for Thomas's last night explaining that no he wasn't staying for a detention after school as I thought the incident (don't ask) was open to interpretation and that Thomas had already asked the Headmaster to review it. Whilst writing the letter the wife pointed out the teacher I was writing to was in fact an English Teacher and she had to correct holf a dizzen spilling mistokes.

I toyed with the idea of making a load of mistakes on purpose but thought the joke might be lost on the humourless git.

Now work.

Update - 16:15 - Oh what tossers they are at that school. Now a teacher has taken Thomas's mobile phone from him and is keeping it until Friday. I contacted the school and said you have 10 minutes to return it or I will report the teacher as having stolen it. Guess what, the silly people didn't take me seriously, so I have now reported the phone stolen and am expecting the police within the hour.

I traced the teachers home address and told the school I had now reported the matter to the police and said I knew where the thief lived, which they took that as a threat.

I guess that another teacher I can't see on parents night.

Why can't people just let me live in peace, don't they know I have a load of work that needs doing.

Update - 17:15 - Well I now have the phone back and have managed to upset the school and the local police. What a busy day.

I spoke to the lady in the police control room who was telling me the law. I asked what her law qualification was to which she replied "I've been working her day in day out for three years, I know what theft is"

After she said the 3 year comment I just had a vision of top trumps in my mind, so said "look if we were playing knowledge of the law and police experience top trumps I would beat you love" Oh so patronising but oh so funny, but she didn't laugh.

Went to the school to ask for my phone back and ended up having a meeting with the Headmaster. I said contempt and hate are strong words but fit my feelings for the school.

It was funny that during the meeting my phone went off with a very loud ring tone featuring Dizzee Rascal and Lily Allen singing a Bugsy Malone track. I had to smile.

Please let life at college be quieter for Thomas.

Day 71 (08/03/10)

Spent the day at a training session in Manchester.

I have done 6 of these previously so knew there was no need to have breakfast before hand as there are always nice pastries to start the day and a nice buffet at the end. Also no need to take a pen or note pad as these are always provided.

So imagine my surprise at the lack of food and no note pads or pens. The recession must have hit this industry (I doubt it).

There was a raffle to raise money for a charity, so I bought a £5 strip of tickets, but only fancied the nice bottle of Champagne or large handmade Easter Egg so guess what I won?


Great a 12 year old bottle of whiskey worth about £25 just what I didn't want, seeing as I don't drink Whiskey, though Thomas seem rather pleased.

I think my brother might be having an unexpected present in the next few weeks.

Went through my old blog messages and realised there were a few comments so put some replies to these.

Now to work.

Day 69 & 70 (06 & 07/03/10)

Nice breakfast, muffins and poached eggs. I might get some of those special cups to make poached eggs as when I try to do it like the chefs on the telly they never come out as nice.

Loads to do (again, oh for a day off) and then off up north again tomorrow. This is me just keeping up to date with some databases I use, which is good, but they always hold these refresher days in Liverpool or Manchester, which is bad.

I have been so busy lately that I realised I haven't played chess on my computer for weeks.

Hopefully when I'm back down south on Tuesday, my cold will be better and I will go out on my bike.

Update - Sun 22:30 - There was a time when a drive to Manchester was a long thing, now its 1/2 hour shorter than my normally monthly trip up north. It would have been shorter if the whole of the M6 was being dug up.

During the journey I was able to relax and think. Unfortunately I thought about the 5 emails aI had meant to send before I left. Damn.

Day 68 (05/03/10)

It feels ages since I went out on my bike and now I am full of a cold, so won't be going out on it for a few more days.

Loads to do as up in Manchester on Sunday for a days conference on Monday. Oh how I am NOT looking forward to the long drive and another night in a crap hotel.

Update - 09:30 - Nice breakfast, lovely hot buttered crumpets with cheese, now a beechams lemon and honey.

Day 67 (04/03/10)

Home, with a cold and a shed load of stuff to do, but it's nice to be home.

Wondering where to take the wife tonight as its not Orange Wednesday but Twice The Price Thursday. Might go for a Greek.

Now work, work, bloody work.

Update - 22:00 - The Greek (www.aphroditesgreekrestaurant.co.uk) was very nice and very reasonably priced.




Now home and its freezing out there.

Day 66 (03/03/10)

Still up north on the last day of work. Starting to go down with a heavy cold.

On the long drive back stopped off at a motorway services, thought I would sit in rather than have a takeaway. The sign said 2 meals for £10, so I thought it was probably quite reasonable so had Fish & Chips, a Coke and Piece of Cake.

The guy told me it was £10.33 which shocked me. Apparently the small coke and slice of cake were the same price as a meal. I wish I had just had a takeaway from burger king.

Day 65 (02/03/10)

Up north working, things going OK but never like being away.

Loads of other stuff to do so I can't relax. Had the Beef Madras tonight at the Travelodge, as you can tell it went down well.


Now work to do whilst listening to Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie on Radio 2.

Day 64 (01/03/10)

Busy preparing for going up north for a few days to do a course.

I have now finished off a whole pack of paper (500 sheets) and my printer is running fine. I've not had to change any cartridges yet, which I usually have to do when doing the course handouts etc.

It feels like I haven't been out on my bike for ages, so I will make sure I do on Thursday, with an extra long cycle if I can manage it.

Why do Royal Mail employ postmen that can't read. Every week I get post for houses in nearby streets and today I got post that had been delivered to someone else and then re-sent to me, so it took two weeks to get here. I phoned the local sorting office to complain and when I explained why the man asked where I lived, then laughed and said "well that's not a bloody surprise we have load of complaints about him, he's useless".

I think it might be kinder to just put the postman down, it will save us all a lot of trouble.

Update - 23:30 - Now up north, it took forever, its like the whole of the M6 has roadworks and average speed cameras. I only saw one group of workman, so it seems a bit stupid to slow down for the safety of a workforce that isn't in the carriageway but probably already in the pub.

So I'm sat in my very cheap and basic travelodge and have had 4 cups of tea already. Must try and do a report before going to bed.